Mamma Mia / Devil Wears Prada - Dolce & The Dynamos

Fire Breather

Hope this sounds Miranda-ish enough for you all ;)

~

"Did I say next week?" Miranda spat into her phone "does the word today come out of my mouth as next week?"
Tanya and Rosie turned at the breakfast table to look at her before latching eyes and raising an eyebrow at each other.
"Impossible?" Miranda rolled her eyes "have it in my office by twelve or you'll not see next week!"
Miranda hung up on the poor, over worked and most likely terrified employee, making Rosie and Tanya grit their teeth before getting back to their breakfast.
"Do I have any moderately competent employees?" Miranda asked nobody in particular as she threw her phone against the table.
"I dunno...." Rosie muttered into her coffee "Andy seems pretty competent to me"
Miranda stopped and lowered her coffee mug, narrowing her eyes before giving a Tanya a death stare voldemort would be jealous of.
"You dunno" the words sounded almost comical hanging off Miranda's lips.
"I. don't. know." Tanya corrected her grammar as she took a large gulp of coffee.
"And it's Andrea...." Miranda rolled her eyes as she grabbed a near by napkin "...honestly you make it sound like I have an overweight lesbian trucker in my employ"
"Someone over a size two stepping foot in the Ellis Clark building?" Rosie muttered "...god forbid" she sighed as she brought the coffee mug up to her lips.
Miranda's phone began vibrating against the table, barely getting time to ring before Miranda had it pressed against her ear.
"Is there a reason you are phoning me at seven o'clock in the morning?"
Rosie and Tanya turned to each other, sensing the fear of the person on the other end of the phone. Rosie was quick to clear the table, pressing the button on the coffee machine as Tanya went in search for brandy.
"Florals for spring....groundbreaking"
Rosie almost smirked at the remark as she placed a steaming hot cup of coffee in front of Miranda.
"A cover idea from our art department.....next you will be informing me that our fashion department dresses our models, or even better, that our editorial team is currently editing the next issue" Miranda rolled her eyes as she placed a hand to the side of her head which was already beginning to throb "if you've called me just to state the obvious then I suggest you be in my office at nine o'clock sharp so I can find you something productive to do"
With that, Miranda ended the call  and if her mood still hadn't improved by nine o'clock, probably the young woman's career too.
"Andrea"
Rosie's head shot round when she realised that Miranda was already making another call. No rest for the wicked.
"I want you to get rid of that insufferable girl from fashion"
Miranda ended the call, lifted her mug and headed down the hallway.
Oh, how very informative.
"Are you always that vague?" Rosie followed her through the house.
"Call Andrea and have her schedule you both in for lunch" Miranda ignored the question and proceeded to put on her coat "if you have to leave the house, you will have Roy drive you and if you need anything, call Andrea. I think by now you will both have realised that she's very.....accommodating"
"Goodbye to you too" Tanya muttered sarcastically as Miranda opened the door.
"I should be back before seven" Miranda turned to them before closing the door.

~

"I need five skirts, Calvin Klein. Cancel my meeting with Donatella and find the photos Nigel pulled for Gwyneth's second cover try. I acquired one of the best photographers in the country, you'd think that they could at least create one acceptable image, but.....apparently not"
"....and where's my coffee?..." Miranda twirled around her office in her black Christian louboutins ".....has she died or something?"
No, but she's going to wish she had.
Andrea bit her lip to stop a small smirk appearing on her face. Emily being shown the full force of Miranda's foul mood could be a welcomed change, perhaps even break the day up a little.
"And Andrea...."
Andrea immediately snapped out of her day dream, looking up from her small black notepad. "Yes Miranda"
"....do wipe that smirk off your face" Miranda twirled her fingers around the freshly polished golden door handle "smugness should never be conveyed in a tea green jumper and 2002 Calvin Klein skirt"
Andrea leapt back when the door slammed, sending a shiver through the office.
God....Andrea hoped Emily was close. A coffee was needed right now.....perhaps a double...no, definitely a triple shot for Miranda. Last night Miranda and her assistants personal lives had been too close for comfort.
Rule number twenty three, never get involved in Miranda's personal life. Emily had taught her that. According to Nigel, there's very few things in life that can only end in disaster, two of which being Miranda and her assistants personal lives colliding and Chanel and prada being wore together. Andrea had to immediately take a mental note of that, not that she could afford Chanel or prada anyway, and getting involved with Miranda's person life was something she would never do.....it's common sense really. No matter how bad things at work are......she would never be that suicidal.
Well....at least she thought it was common sense....until last night.
Nigel will flip when he finds out, and Emily...well Emily's reaction isn't even worth thinking about. Let's just hope that she's stocked up on cheese cubes.
"Oh. My. God. Please tell me it's true"
Andrea snapped out of her daydream and was immediately faced with Nigel.
"Is what true?"
"Don't even try to deny your size six ass off" Nigel glided across the room "the serial bride and the little hermit...according to Natalie in beauty, there back. Don't ask me where she gets her information from but Sarah in fashion tells me that she's stalker central. Miranda's gonna flip if she sees her size two Chanel jeans within a mile of her house, of course, Miranda only knows her as 'that pale girl with an irritating stutter' but really, what do we expect? It's Miranda we're talking about...."
"Wowww" Andrea threw her hands in the air, if this continued she'd have two bodies to deal with "slow down Nigel....who?"
"The little hermit and the serial bride..."
Andrea raised an eyebrow at him. Was she supposed to know who this was? Because she hadn't even known the almighty Miranda a year ago.
"Who?"
"You have a lot to learn sugar" Nigel sighed "sit down"
Andrea fell into the chair, this day was going to be emotionally exhausting.

~

Really hope that each character is sounding like.....their character. If you know what I mean.
I also hope that Miranda is Miranda-ish enough for you all. 😹
It's not easy making up Miranda speeches that could break people's careers, break people down into tears and all sound hellishly evil at the same time. So I suppose I am hoping the she is sounding as...evil as she should! 😹