I want to apologise in advance how shitty this is oml but ily
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As oppose to usual, when I step through my grand front door and my entire house is silent. Are they away? They can't be, each of the 5 cars are still in our drive way.
But there's usually shouting between my mum and my dad, but apparently not tonight.
I shrug off my coat and slip of my vans, and let out a breath; I should be relieved I don't have my mum screaming at me or something a long those lines.
I begin to walk up the massive staircase, my footsteps sounding and echoing arounf the annoyingly white, clean house.
For some reason my heart begins to beat quickly.
I stop when I reach my room, which is next to Jack's room, and near the bathroom I stop. I listen.
And then I hear it.
The crying. The sobbing, and holy shit is it real.
But I'm frozen because I don't know what to do; what can I do?
My brothers hates me; he probably won't even let me talk to him.
But I have to try. I have to because I have no idea what to do.
Without another moment of hesitation I open the bathroom door, and I cant believe my eyes.
My brother. On the floor. Tears tumbling down his cheeks and thin cuts running across his wrists. His eyes meet mine immediately and he doesn't know what to do.
A rush of emotions run through his eyes and I don't know which one hurts the most; the pain, the sadness, the anger, or the despair.
"Get out!" he struggles to yell, and I just shake my head. I pull the bathroom door closed, and sit down next to Jack; throughout the years of bickering and arguing and him being better than me, I could never leave him at the state he's in; he's my brother.
He begins to sob again and all I can do is hold him, being careful of his arms.
"it's okay, it's okay," he cries into my shirt and I know he's going to regret it later because he has this whole thing called dignity which he happens to be very proud of, but I don't mind if he hates me later, he just needs to be okay now. I'm not in much position if he's self harming. I know how it feels, and I didn't have anyone's help when I needed it, so I'm not going walk out on him.
"w-why are you helping me?" he asks his voice cracking, and his entire body trembling.
I take a deep breath.
"Because I'm your brother, and I know how it feels," I say, and his eyes meet mine with confusion. I slowly lift up my shirt sleeve and reveal the scars running across my wrist, and his breath hitches in his throat.
He stares at me in silence for a while.
I let out a breath and shake my head.
"come on, lets get you cleared up," I get to my feet and help up the older boy, he cant bring himself to look me in the eyes; I drag him over to the sink and run his wrists under the cold water, I hear him hiss in his teeth and we both watch as the water turns pink.
I walk over to the cabinet and pull out the bandages that I used to save for myself, and I get some anti-septic wipes.
"Are mum and dad home?" I ask, walking over to him and removing his wrists from under the icy water before slowly wrapping the bandages around his cuts.
"no, they left for Paris a few days ago, but Ben's here, he's out with his girl though, it's just me home," he says, and I order him to splash some water on his puffy face, he does so and with that I make him come to my room.
"What about the mess?" he asks, looking at the blood and the blade on the floor.
"I'll deal with it later, now go to my room and sit down," I order, he does so, pushing open my bedroom door and sitting down on my bed. I watch his blood drained face and struggle to comprehend what just happened in this last ten minutes; I walk into my wardrobe and grab a baggy sweater, I hand it to him and he slips it over his bare upper half, as I place myself down next to him. I look around my room as we sit in silence.
Nothing in here says me, most of it is from 14 year old me, before I got my first piercing, before I decided fitting in wasn't exactly my speciality. And I tried out all the typical fourteen year old stuff. Like video games which I still like, and football, which I too, still like, but I have football posters and embarrassing posters like 50 cent and trashy music like that. My walls are red and if I'm honest I'd rather black.
"Are you okay?" I ask, even though I know it's a stupid question.
"I don't know," he says honestly, I pat his shoulder and he flinches.
"Why did you do it?" I ask delicately, and he just shrugs. He just simply shrugs.
"Stressed. Depressed. Lost my scholarship and probably my future; mum and dad hate me for it- now I know how you feel," we both laugh bitterly. "Is that why you used to cut? Because they treated you like this?" he asks, adding, but I'm not going to lie, the fact I'm talking about my self harm with my brother hits a bit to close to home.
"kind of, but you Jack, you and Ben have always been their favourite, I'm the runt of the litter and they're never going to love me; I don't have a future like you two, I'm not smart, I'm not creative I'm the lousy punk with a few tattoos and a few piercing."
"Yeah but I wish I could be like you, at least you have the guts to be you, I hate being in Law school! I hate it!" he almost begins to cry again and I don't really know what to do. We just sit together. "I'm sorry, Luke, I'm so sorry, I've treated you like shit for the past few years and I don't even know why you're helping me," he suddenly blurts, and again I'm found speechless.
That apology felt good though, and it means a lot.
I just shrug him off and tell him its okay.
"So... what's going on little brother?" he asks, nudging my shoulder. "A special girl?"
And then it hits me like a car and I decide I have to tell him.
"Yeah, there's a special... boy." His eyes snap up to meet mine and he's got the biggest smile on his face and it warms my anxious heart as I let out a shaky breath.
"You're gay," he says, surprise laced in my tone.
"I guess you could say that," I chuckle and so does he, we share a happy glance, that's the first time I've heard him truly laugh.
"So... What's he like?" he asks, grinning at me and I blush.
"He's... he's wonderful, he's a little girly, and he's a little shy... he's beautiful, and he'll never see it himself because his whole life he's only been told he's not. He's got the nicest dad, that's where I've been this whole time. He only moved here in September but god," I stop and I can't help but smile just thinking about him. "I love him so much,"
"I'm so happy for you bro, you sound like you really love him," I nod. "do mum and dad know?"
I shake my head quickly.
"No, they can't know, Jack, they'd kill me," I shake my head and I shake my head and I shake my head.
The thought alone makes me want to throw up.
"They're going to find out sooner or later, they have to," he looks me in the eye, and I don't want to look back at him but I do.
"They can't jack, they'll hate me, they'll kick me out," I nearly begin to cry and I kind of want to kick myself in the face because of it.
"Come here," he pulls me into him and like that, for the rest of the night we are brothers again.
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THIS WAS SO FUCKING BAD IM SO SORRY HOLY SHIY THAT SUCKED I WONT EVEN ASK YOU TO COMMENT AND VOTE IM SORRY IF THIS DISAPPOINTED YOU OMG LMAO
BUT I GO BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW AND I WROTE THIS WATCHING 90210 AND FUCK AM I EMOTIONAL IF WHAT IMMA SAY IS GONNA SPOIL IT IF YOU WATCH BUT SOMEONE THOUGHT THEY HAD SURVIVED FROM CANCER AND IT JUST CAME BACK AND HE BROKE UP WITH HIS GIRL FRIEND BC HE DIDNT WANT TO HURT HER AND SHE BROKE DOWN AND SHES MY FAVE CHARACTER AND I SHIPPED THEM SO MUCH I
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You & I~Muke
Fanfiction"You were his life line, when he was drowning in this world, and you let go," Or; The one about Michael, the quiet, painfully shy boy who stutters when he speaks and has just moved to Sydney High School, and Luke, the popular punk boy, who just wan...
