loving on the line

Chapter 8

"Look Mary, you need to seriously chill the fuck out! I am perrrrrfectly fineeeee!" I yelled over the phone. "Are you, because you certainly don't appear to be?" she said with a hint of bitterness emerging from her professional tone. "Look you don't see me every day and quite frankly you haven't in a long time, so how could you possibly know how I am doing?" I spat. "I have eyes everywhere and right now people a concerned for you well being". I knew she was right but I honestly felt fine! Okay I lie, I feel like crap, but that's what I am meant to feel like right !? Acting isn't all turning up saying your lines and then shooting off to premieres. There's so much work just learning you character and the role, these lots of reading and work put in and hours and hours into scenes which only go for a few minutes. I am flown in out all the time and am juggling three of four roles plus learning new skills and trying to have a life all while filming a movie. Acting is not glamorous it's bloody hard work! "Look macey I understand the training schedules you are on and how fit you like to be, plus the work you put into your roles but these only so much you can take" Mary says. I feel my self nodding and agreeing but I won't slow down. "Look everything's under control and I am submerged in my role right now so I must be going" I lie. "Yeah right and that's why you still manage to have a few little parties too huh!?" "Mary I am liturally acting all the fucking time so excuses me if I go out once in a fucking blue moon"! "Macey" I hear Mary's tone change from a colleague to a friend. "You're building this little nest for yourself and blocking out the people that matter". "These people do matter!" I yell. "I understand but when was the last time you talked to someone from home?" she asked. Ummm okay so I talked to Liam like two weeks ago but he's flat out with his Europe tour. "Errr elenour like 5 days ago, maybe" I say embarrassed. "So you haven't had contact with any of your friends or family from back home"!? "Err well I saw jack like a month ago, but no not really". "Please for the love of god don't cut them out, and make sure you're nice and perky for your interview in a couple of hours" and with that she hung up.

two days later ( feburary 2012)

"I cant beileve you guys are on tour in America" i smiled. "yeah it atcually really amazing, the fans are psycho, but we love it" Harry replied on the other end of the phone. I couldn't help notice how his voice was especailly husky today, but i was with Tom now so it really didn't matter. "so how is caroline coping with the distance thing?" "errrrrr we broke up a few weeks ago" he muttered. Ugh, i should feel thrilled which i am, but it doesnt matter now.

*flash back: "so macey we have been on like a few dates and i was umm" tom rambled. I smiled and placed my hand on his rough face and leaned in. I can smell his colone and the faint sent of strawberries, "you're beautiful, be my girl friend?" I move closer in and plant my lips onto his, he slides his arms around my waist and our mouths begin to move. "my answer is yes" i breath in between the kiss. As lovely as the kiss is i cant help feel guilty, like i am betraying Harry. Of course he's in a relationship and I am standing here with an amazing guy and harry won't spoil it. *flash back over.

"I'm sorry hazza, but hey now you can get with lots of American babe". "haha thanks love, I hear your going alright" he smirks. "yeah I guess, its nice to have someone" I smile. After I finish talking to Harry I send the boys a good luck tweet for the Brits, and wrapp up Harry's birthday present. i feel extremly bad for missing his birthday but I've promised him to do something when I get back.

The last months had been hectic, the thought had only just sprung up upon me as my car rolled out of LA. leaving behind the city of where i had forged my dream in the film business. As we zoomed along leaving the many mansions, parties and adventures of which i will return to eventually, i realised just what my life had become. The fast paced high life, the dreadful hours and the crazy fame had left me like a deer caught in the head lights. know matter how hard I tried to stay landed, to keep a level head i knew that that part of me was buried in the past. however I also knew deep down that that part of me was content in being in the Past. My life almost seemed complete except for one minor detail Harry. I could kid myself for as long as I wanted but I knew in the end I would never be satisfied with Tom. And as much as tried, as I willed, hoped and begged my heart would only settle for Harry, and that frightened me the most.

I pondered on my time filming, we had finished filming "the muck up" which I had been working on since January with actors like max irons, Stanley tuci, Brittany snow and James Franco. It was amazing set to be on and the hype leading up had been crazy. Harry had a massive party which of course I missed but Liam told me about the prank they pulled on him. "So you just dumped him with Icy water halfway through a massage?" "yeah it was Louis's idea" Liam told me. The boys had won a Brit which they were ecstatic about. Georgia scored a roll in this new tv show called revenge, and Jack is now also filming a mini series for the BBC. Magazines and the lime light never seemed to dim no matter how much stayed hidden in my own little filming world. It wasn't that bad because I had Managed to keep a pretty steady reputation and my mother told me how respectble I was, and knowing my mother I knew that meant she approved of my new life. People talked and I let them as I really didn't bother for hate and vain things like that. "Macey this macey that" circulated around the net, Apparently I was a roll model now but the thought scared the shit out of me. Of course I had recently accepted to be a spokes person for world vision. I didn't want to be a celebrity who just flashed some money for a few poor kids and 'hey presto' I was good person. No I wanted to atcaully go out and do good, so by agreeing to the job I could atcaully go out and do real positive things. I guess life was all panning out but the moment I booked my flight to Miami to spend time with the boys my life would take another turn but not an expected one.

Thanks for reading guys, I really wanted to skip past this period of time since most of the juicy and exciting part if the story is based in 2012/2013! You guys ready for a twist just around the corner!? Yep and some romancy fangirly adventures are coming too so please keep on reading ❤hkippy