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The Whole Story

Older brothers are supposed to be protectors.

They are supposed to always be by you and protect you when you get hurt, either by boys, girls, just anyone in general. But when they aren't there to protect you and they are the ones hurting you instead, what do you do?

Your older brother has two serious mental diseases that, when combined, can cause serious repercussions for the people around him. Schizophrenia and bipolarism. This causes him to do or say things that he doesn't mean.

You're around the age of four or five. You love your older brother and you know nothing of the mental issues of your beloved brother. Every morning you go downstairs to your mom and say to her, "Here are Bry-Bry's pills," because every morning you find the pills lying around the house. Your mother tells you to go get ready for the day and you happily skip upstairs, not knowing that your brother hasn't taken the pills he needs.

You happily skip up the stairs and skip into your room. Before you can change out of your pajamas, you hear you beloved older brother yelling your name.

Yelling bloody murder.

You take a step into the hallway, wondering what the yelling is about, before being shoved roughly back into your room. Scotty pushes you, without him looking back at you, he slams his body against the now closed door. You sit there confused until you hear pounding on your door. You sit there terrified when the person yelling is screaming your name.

Screaming. Your name.

You quickly realize that the person screaming, is Bry-Bry. He is yelling at Scotty for him to get out of the way so he can get to you. You stand there, with tears streaming down your face unknowingly, and you realize that Bry-Bry isn't who you thought he was. You quickly think that Bry-Bry isn't the normal, overprotective brother. You quickly realize that Bry-Bry is the opposite. You realize that he is what overprotective brothers protect little sisters from.

You realize that your lovely brother Brian is the monster that he warned you about.

The door opens a crack. The door creaks, almost as if it wants to escape. You look at Brian, you see his face, you see the anger that is for you. Only you. His face is strained. You can see the veins bulging out of his neck, the redness of his face reminds you of a police light, glowing in the morning sun. Brian yelling your name slams you back to reality.

Scotty tells you to get under the bed. You start to move only to find out, you can't move. You're paralyzed. Paralyzed with fear. Paralyzed with anxiety. Paralyzed with sadness.

The door downstairs slams shut. The loud thud of it making everyone in the room pause for a second. Silence. It wasn't awkward or comfortable. It was just there, existing as if to say that it was going to break up the fighting. Your father walks up the stairs, yelling as he comes. Scotty moves away from the door, but when the creaky door opens, you see the hallway. No one is there. Brian is gone.

Air consumes your lungs for once. Black spots dance across your vision. You see Scotty's mouth moving but the sound doesn't reach your ears. You fall backwards but never hit anything hard.

Scotty caught you. Scotty was the one to catch me. Not Brian. Not Alex. Not Christopher. Not my father. No. Scotty caught me. He did. Not Brian.

Not Brian. Scotty.