Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide

ch 5

I am, I..." Liam stammers, moving closer to him again so he can cup Zayn's face. "I've been stupid and... and blind and stupid. I really have, I just..." He sighs, running his thumb across Zayn's delicate cheekbone. "I love you and I'm pretty sure I have since I was, like, eighteen, but I was so caught up in being in this relationship with Sophia that I never really thought about it but the thing is, Zayn, it's always been you. Whenever something good happened to me, you were the first one I'd text, not her. And we've both said it, we both got into this relationship when we were, like, children still and we both didn't want to be gay, you know? And I don't even know if I am gay; all I know is I want you so much and I'm so, so sorry I've been such a twat for the past seven years."

Zayn blinks at him. "You can't just... you can't fuck with me here, Liam, please," he near whispers. "Because I can't be your little gay experiment, or... or your fling to get over Sophia or whatever, I just can't."

"You're not," Liam insists, hands squeezing Zayn's face tighter. "I wouldn't do that to you, Zayn. You're the most important person in my life, you know that, right?"

"Am I?" Zayn asks, pulling out of Liam's grasp. "Because earlier this morning you were fucking snapping at me that you couldn't wait to get back with your ex. That's not really the behaviour of a bloke who's going to admit his so-called feelings to me."

"Zayn, I..." Liam tries to step back into his space but Zayn holds his hand up and glares. "I freaked out, okay? Because it's you and I've been, like, having less than platonic feelings about you so much recently, and then you just walked into the kitchen all damp and shirtless and I... I freaked out! Because I wanted to touch you so badly but you're my fucking best friend and so I freaked and I shouted at you because I'm a massive prick and then I went to Harry's and Harry shouted at me and then I went to Sophia's and Sophia shouted at me..." He pauses for a second and takes a deep breath. "Because everyone told me the same thing. Harry, Louis, Sophia. Said you're in love with me too."

Zayn's eyes go wide with panic.

"Do you?" Liam asks slowly. "Do you love me too?"

There's a pause.

"Yes," Zayn eventually whispers. "For fuck's sake, Liam, I've been in love with you since I was eighteen fucking years old."

"Shit," Liam whispers back. "Shit, Zayn, I..."

"Do you know what the worst thing in the whole world is?" Zayn says, looking up at Liam fearfully. "I'll tell you. The worst thing in the world is being married to the one person you've wanted since you knew what love felt like but he's still hung up on someone else and tells you nearly every day that getting married was just some drunken mistake that you'd never ever do sober."

"Oh god, Zayn," Liam groans, balling his hand up into a fist and hitting himself in the forehead. "I thought... I thought I still loved Sophia, I did. But we talked it out and we realised that we were only getting married because we thought it was the right thing to do. But we're both... our relationship was over long before that; god, I don't think we've even had sex since our engagement night."

"That's very reassuring," Zayn snaps. "Look, Liam, what do you want from me here? So you want to be with me now, is that it?"

"I..." Liam starts, scratching nervously at his neck. "Yes. Yes, I want to be with you. I'm so sorry I've been such an oblivious dick but now I'm ready to, like, start being the husband that you deserve."

"The husband I deserve?" Zayn lets out an almost hysterical laugh. "What the fuck do you think this is, Liam? That we can just bounce into married life comfortably after all this bullshit you've put me through?"