An Innocent Mistake (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 29

We run and run without an end. The bag hanging on my shoulder often slides off and I pull it back on. It seems like I am sprinting in a marathon, leaving Martha behind. I slow down and stop, panting, but the frigid air dries my throat- making me cough. I take a glimpse back at the abandoned road, making sure nobody is chasing us.
"Martha, try to keep moving."
"I am trying."
"We will soon come to some place where Ragenite can't find us."
Martha's voice cracks as she is about to speak. She puts her hand on her chest, trying to steady herself. But she is still running to catch up to the small distance to me.
"You okay?" I fret. She appears paler than usual- bloodless, protesting to have a break.
"I think I can't make it." She gives up, sounding like she is about to pass out. Her voice grazes on the hardship.
"Fine. We can stop here for a while."
We stick around on the sidewalk, briskly catching up to breathe. Dryness in my throat spurs me a rough cough- from being dehydrated. I regret to not have any water nor anything to chew on. But I have some money that I didn't give it to Ragenite and I can use it to buy something. When we break out on the lively streets, I go to one of the deli store by the bus stop.
Martha stays out, while I purchase some energy boasting snack. On the shelf, I examine through the variety of chocolate bars. Unfortunately, some of the good ones are expensive according to the amount of money I have. I am afraid I will not be able to buy water. Despite that I end up picking BabyRuth and Snicker of low prices and grab the bottle from the fridge.
As I am exchanging the bills crumpled up grimly over the counter, I find Martha talking to a man who seems to be waiting for the bus. I look through the store window pane, disturbed to see who that man was, and what was he possibly talking about.
"Young lady, your items." The man on the counter calls me and I jerk my attention back to him.
"Thanks." I pick the white plastic bag, and instantly leave the store without dawdling to look through the snacks.
"Bethany." Martha looks at me, nervously.
"She is your parent?" The man asks, fixing his derby hat as the sun beams on his face.
"Let's go, Martha. We are going somewhere else." I grab her hand to take her away from the man- a meddler.
When we cross the road at the walking sign, I ask, "what was he talking about?"
"He was asking me if I was alone. And where were my parents." Martha briefly explains.
"Then what did you say?"
"That my parents were in the store."
"Thank goodness. You should never tell that you are alone otherwise you don't know these people. That's what Ragenite did to me and I told the truth."
We stroll down the sidewalk, people passing by and I am afraid if any of them are overhearing our conversation. Especially the ones who stare past us.
"What did you buy? I am really hungry and thirsty."
"I will show you. You know I saved some of my money. I didn't give all of them."
"You're smart."
I feel myself blushing- cheeks getting warm in the cold.
Down one block, on the left, there is a park- big and open.
We saunter on the grass, recklessly, but barely see anyone around us. The season kicked everyone to their homes in the coziness. I tell Martha to sit on the bench and without any objection we claim our spots.
Before I would take out the bars from the bag, Martha snatches it away from me and starts digging in. I plant my gaze on her to make her realize that I am hungry too but I am still patient.
"Hey, I got my bar in there too. Don't take mine. I brought you Snicker." I try to take the bag back, but Martha holds on it obstinately. "Give me." I say.
"Why you bring me Snicker?" She lets go of the bag. "I like the crunchy Twix. I always eat that. My cousin Tom would eat the Snicker and I don't like him. He is ugly and mean."
I fish the water bottle out and offer Martha. Then I tear open my bar and nibble on it. The taste of melting chocolate brings my tongue to life. I haven't tasted anything as sweet and delicious in these past months. For a while, I got bored eating the rice porridge and milk.
When Martha stops drinking, she applies back the lid and rolls it in the bag. "You know how much thirsty I was."
I eat half of the BabyRuth, then keep the rest in the bag, in case if I became hungry later, so I would have something to munch on. Martha is barely licking the snicker, looking at it like it was sugar coated with poison- make gruesome faces.
After trying to take a bite, she gives up and gives me a troubled expression. "I don't like it. It makes me throw up."
"It's okay if you don't like it. Wanna try mine?" I take the bar out again and reluctantly offer it, but she refuses it. "Well, it's your choice." I place it back in the bag.
I throw glances around, seeing the life from the different lens. Everything has changed so much, including the change I feel inside of me. It feels fresh because I can start all over again, but rueful simultaneously. I always assumed things, which angered me even more when things were not that bad.
I sit quietly, mulling down at the people. Everyone is busy with their work, but I have nothing to do. And I don't have a bit energy to move and do something with these poor tired mass. I just want a comfortable place where I can lay in the warmth and sleep with no worry.
Suddenly, I halt back from dazing. I think, is this to end like this, Ragenite taking is back home, and we are back with her for eternity. By one of the store across the road, I see some lady whose clothing style greatly resembles Ragenite's, but her face is far from showing in detail.
How did she get here so fast? I think.
"Martha, does that look like Ragenite?" I shake her attention to where I am looking. "Over down the road. You see the store?"
She squints narrowly as if it is helping her to magnify the image. "You are right. She does seem like her." She determines to shift her attention to me. "What if she finds us here?"
"Get up, right now. I don't want to end up with her again."
In the distance, I find her sifting through different people as she goes about asking. Then she stops, as the man she was talking to leave her. She turns around in the direction of us, but doesn't see us, and I push Martha to hide up somewhere close to the dense bushes.
"Hurry. But don't run because she might be looking right at us." I address her to keep the things the way I want it to be.
"She could be." Martha slowly moves along, less caring to look back. She goes behind the tree, herded by the tedious brushes and rustic grass and crouches there patiently.
"This is perfect. I bet she will give up looking for us." I slip down one step under the excitement, not necessarily cheering at the moment. I spy on Ragenite , who I sort of lost track of her wandering figure. From her perceived behavior, she looks anxious and desperate. But after some while, she intends toward the supermarket and doesn't come out until after some time. I feel suppressed by the last test from her. She doesn't want to leave us alone, no matter what. She hasn't given up on us.
"Where is she?" Martha blows her hot breath near my ear. She is hiding at the spot where she is deprived of the view. She crawls behind me to come to my left and looks for herself. "She lost us."
As we both look at each other, a mischievous smirk stretches into a grin on Martha's lips. She gives me a thumbs up on which I nearly lose balance over my arms I stand on and feel a laugh jumping out of me. I swing my head low and gently shake the head on her childishness.
"Martha, you look so funny. Stop it." I contain my giggle, but it somehow bursts out of me. "You know sometimes I think I wouldn't have been able to do this without you. Though we both were little scared, weren't you?"
"Isn't everyone scared of something in the world?"
"Yeah, but not of everything." I rip a handful of grass and toss it. "I was always afraid if my parents ever loved me. But I learned that assuming is not the best thing."
"True."
Soon, the sun is about to sink down to the west. Seeing the fiery glow, intense and bright, makes me worry about the growing night; the light of the day will be replaced by the light of the moon. And I will be left alone with Martha.
I follow my instincts- calling inside of me to get up and move. Be brave and believe in myself. I have come through a long way, fighting real,gruesome challenges of life. I can't lose it now.
"Martha, I am in trouble. Please help me." Would my parents accept me if I go back home? Would they even recognize me as their daughter? "It's so hard. I don't know how to live through this."
"Why are you afraid to go back home?"
"Because it's been nearly a year since I left home. Do you think my mom and dad would accept me?"
We clumsily come out of the bushes, because Ragenite is gone now. She must have accepted her bitter truth that makes people want to run away from her, and never look back to her. Perhaps, if it was someone else, they would have near forgiven her detestable personality- that always asks for more. But I don't know if I would ever forgive her of what she has done to me. I can never forget her attempts of killing me, which revealed the vicious animal inside of her.
I feel scared, taking on the way home. I don't quite remember the streets and blocks that I ran away. Everything standing around me- as I go down with Martha, seems strange, like I think did I come here before. I know I have been here, but have lost the memory.
"Are you sure you are going the right way?" Martha asks from next to me, battling with the strong shine of the sunset, beating her eyes closed.
"I am having a feel that this is the right way. There is no way else." I shield my eyes too. My back and shoulders are sore under the hanging heavy weight of bag. I wiggle my shoulder so they don't start hurting.
"You don't remember a thing?"
"No."
"That's a trouble."
"But I know I will end up somewhere where I will start to remembers things." We sail down one of the block and there are two turns on which I fall into the competition of deciding, of which one to choose. They both seem to lead me to the right path, but I am not exactly sure. I tell Martha to stop.
"Let me see which way we are supposed to be going." I raise my head high, sheltering the eyes from the brilliant ray of burning sun shooting straightly at me.
"How about we toss? You pick left and I pick right." Martha seeks to hide me from the shine.
I turn around with tilted head. "Really, Martha? You want to take that of a big risk?"
"But it will at least help you decide." Her voice things out as she sees me staring at her for longer than a second.
"No. I can't do that. We will be lost." I start to move to the left, washed in doubt.
We stroll together on the sidewalk, while I speculate the small buildings and cars parked. I toss a glance down the long block and there doesn't seem to display the neighborhood of where I live. Everywhere there are small houses.
"This doesn't seem like it. We should back." I rotate back in the midway.
The late evening breeze has become sharply cold, pinching acerbically into my dry skin. I cover my mouth with the hand, blowing warm heat against it to fight the chill.
"Please find it fast. I can't keep up." Martha says.
I nail to my last option and head towards it.
Martha beside me, shudders in the icy air. She wraps herself with her arms, wearing the only thin sweater that is not helping her at all. She barely speaks, now that it has become difficult for her. Her lips are sealed without any emotion.
Passing by the houses in a row, I hold on to every memory that tend to only abide with me for little while, but I preserve it. I don't ever wish to get lost again like a homeless, poor person. I want my home right now. Nothing is that capable to quench my thirst until I see the sight of my beautiful house- wondering how it might have been without me.
As we keep going, avoiding to make a stop, because night is at the tip of winding up. I notice the familiar park. I know that park, I call in my head. I used to go there with Julia, when we got dismissed from the school every afternoon. All of a sudden a wave of past memories collide my dull mind. It is as if I drank a energy drink and everything is opened up, laying in clear visible pieces without a mark of haze.
I drum my fingers over Martha's shoulder, stiff and bone-dry, peppered with hopelessness. She lifts her head and her first gaze questions me.
"I remember everything now. I know that park over there. I used to come there my friend Julia."
A soft gleaming smile breaks over her. She again looks at me with optimism, but no voice comes out of her.
"We are almost there." I give her a last hope. "I think I can find my home now. It will not be farther than that park. Promise this time."
I abruptly take over a more active speed and heedlessly cross the smooth, vacant road, not even caring for any vehicle coming from the either side. It seems like I am blinded by the attraction. Just running towards, disregarding the obstacles.
Martha is dragging to bring herself on the other side. She waits to check for any speedy car, while I have already crosses the road. I impatiently stand alone, waiting for her to catch up to me fast.
I fly my hand in the air, gesturing her to come already. When she reaches, I hold her hand and pull her with me to the outside of the park.
By the metal grill gate, I curiously look in, expecting to see the lake, but it's far from my eyes.
"What are we waiting for?" Martha speaks in a barely audible voice.
"I am looking at the lake. You know the drawing I showed you. It was that one. I wish I can go there right now, but it's not the right time."
"Will you keep me at your house?" Her pale face, and white lips, make her look like she is dead. She appears to give up at any moment. "Do I deserve to come with you?"
I pull away from the gate, and melt my heart over her innocence. I feel mercy on her.
"How can you think I will be leaving you here. Without you I wouldn't have been able to make it. You gave me hope to take this move. To bring me back home."
She takes her hair out of her mouth and says. "I don't know. I am still a stranger to your parents and they might not like me."
"Don't say that, Martha. I would never leave you alone. You are like my best best friend and even a sister. You will come with me and nobody will kick you out. Believe me."
"I trust you." She sounds gloomy, nearly fallen apart from inside.
"Then come."