Monster and Beta

Busted

Ever get that feeling of...complete loss? That is what I was, at a complete loss.

I stood there, Ryder's back faced to me, yet he knew who I was. I blindly followed him into the dark of the night, not bothering to even acknowledge the silver haired man who questioned me. My wolf inside, pulled at my heart to run to him. Before I realized I was completely blowing everything, he spoke my name. And now, I am frozen in fear. The snow fell slowly, my fingers turning red from not having worn gloves. Maybe I am completely hopeless...

"You knew it was me." I finally gain the courage to say. But how stupid was I? Of course he knew it was me, the lingering word mate justified that. I could look like a bear and he would still have sensed it was me. How did I think I could hide myself from him? How did I think I could kill him?

He ran a hand threw his white specked ravens hair. I watched as I heard what must have been a low chuckle from him as his body slowly turned so his piercing green eyes gazed incredulously into mine.My wolf was thrashing inside me, begging me just to reach out, just to touch him. I wanted to be near him, and the non-caving desire made me dizzy. "Even an idiot would recognize their mate in disguise." He said, taking a step closer as he cocked his head to the side, biting down on his full pink lip as he studied me. My body froze with anxiety, my inner wolf leaped as he took that step closer. "So what was the plan? Now you got me alone...try to kill me?" He asks, raising a brow at me.

"Maybe." That is what I say, but I can not now. The...emotional bond to the one that is your mate I realize, is just to strong for me to overcome. He looks at me, but I cannot move nothing but my hand as I pull the wig from my head, letting the white hair fall over my shoulders. I gather myself up not to swallow, show any sign of fear or remorse in front of the monster, that is dipped with irony and called my mate. 

"I told you to stay away from me. You come, and you cannot do what you even came here for." He criticizes me. I see his face, pale as the snow at the moment but his eyes radiated with heat boring into my own. He is trying to undermine me. Lessen me. His face stone hard with a the cold look. If he resents me so much, why can he not just reject me already and stop all this pain. Maybe then, I could find it in me to kill him.

"Do not patronize me, Dawn." I say, calling by his last name. His eyes blink at the sudden rash tone in my voice but it only fuels my fire more. My wolf was crying at this moment, and all I can do to make it feel better was undermine him. "We both know you are just as foolish as I, just as tortured by this unfathomable feeling. That's why you couldn't kill me nor my sister that day." I tell him, I could see the way his muscles suddenly tensed. He walks up to me, or jogged, it was faster than I could momentarily comprehend as suddenly his face was inches from mine. My wolf churned  and cried louder within from his proximity. 

"I let you live then, but I won't be as merciful now. I wan't your land, but I do not wan't you." He spat, my heart hammering away as his words ripped something in me, making my inner wolf howl at the new-found pain. Thankfully, he could not see nor hear the terror he is causing within me. The flicker in his eyes though spoke the opposite of what he was saying though. 

"Then reject me." I tell him defeated. He stands there still for a couple seconds, debating most likely. 

"No." He says coldly, making me squeeze my eyes with hurt rage.

"Why?!" I then snapped, I did not want to continue feeling this way! Maybe this will be how he kills me..but wouldn't that pain kill him just as much? 

No answer...

I open my eyes as gaze up at him. He is staring at me. 

"What would be the fun in that?" He asks me, his eyes still swam with the spark of lies, and I knew that whatever his real reason being, what he said to me now was just him being dishonest. I swallow then watch as he turns and runs off into the dark, snowy, wilderness.