Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed)

The Sweet Taste of Nicotine (short story)

I used to go to local band shows in a run down warehouse/skate park named 'The Spot'. The Spot was home to rockers, hookers, punks, hipsters, anyone extraordinary. The heavy metal grunge rock atmosphere was soothing to me, and it felt like I was finally home. 

I dressed up in my dry muddied chunky biker boots, torn fishnet tights, torn black shorts, a tank top with a leather jacket thrown over. I had heavily painted eyeliner and black eye shadow topped off with the darkest wine lipstick I could find

I fit in there, at The Spot.

The heavy bass of the electric guitars and drums attacked my eardrums and the singer growled into the microphone with such anger and passion. People whooped and pumped their fists in the air, sweaty bodies slamming into each other as tattooed junkies and drug addicts moshed like it was their final day on earth. 

When the music subsided, the dulling remains of bass coursed through our bodies and our hearing was dramatically declined. Everything sounded dull and flat. Everyone, including the band members stepped out into the chill and crisp autumn evening during set breaks. Some people walked across the road towards the smoke shop, while others lingered around and smoked their cigarettes, forming groups and chatting while the other band set up.

I always went to these kinds of local shows alone, and usually leaned against the red brick wall and chain smoked cigars and cigarettes- one after the other. I watched the thick white smoke escape my lips and dwell in the air. It danced with other's smoke and vanished gradually.

Some girls complimented my outfit, some invited me to smoke pot or cannabis with them, some people got to talking with me and I made some pretty great friends. But I preferred to stay alone and watch people pass by in a blur. I breathed in everything and smoked it out and watched as everything faded away from me. 

Those days were ecstasy. Bliss. I found a way to step out of my shoes and into someone else's through the sweet taste of nicotine.