"Rhysie"

Chapter Three

"Voila, My office"!
Rhys's office was beautiful. It had Atlas's Bio-Dome and wild plant life growing along the plexiglass that was his window.
"It stinks in here". Fiona held her nose.
Rhys gave a pout. "Um, the only thing that stinks in here is your jealous fumes".
"Jealous? Really"?
Vaughn looked around. "This office looks a little similar to Handsome Jack's office. I can remember seeing it in like, pictures and stuff".
He walked over to Rhys. "He must have been your motivation for Atlas huh".
Rhys put one hand on Vaughn's shoulder. "He was my hero....I mea-"
"Whoaaaa! The swole kid wasn't kiddin'! This is, pretty impressive. Very similar though. The only thing is, is there's no Handsome silver busts aligning the entrance way"!
Jack turned to look at Rhys. "You're amusing. In a cute kinda way, Kiddo".
"Yeah, well, I, sorta, kinda, pissed a little, when I walked into your office"? Rhys scratched the back of his head. "I'm prehetty sure you did! Since I'm your, hero and all. And you got to see my office and my collection aaand- Holy Shit! You found the Conference Caaaallll"!!
"Rhys, I thought you, uh got rid of that Jack AI thing...right? You did right"?
Rhys jumped. "Uh! Yeah! See? It's not blue anymore! And I was talking to you! I actually did piss a little when I walked into Jack's office though. It was bigger than I imagined".
"Oh yeah! You didn't tell me how awesome it was! Dude, You gotta tell me".
"Was huge, man... The office was directly in front of Elpis and there was his gold desk and chair and stuff. I actually sat in it and I was being blasted with dopamine up my ass and it actually glowed dude... I swear it did and-"
"Um Hi! Atlas CEO Rhys! Hate to interrupt you guy's fangasm over Handsome Jack's office but, We are your lovely guests whooo, wouldn't mind a office tour. If you want to show us, of course! No pressure, just saying. I know getting a hard on for something takes lots of work".
"Not much to show really...Just look around yourself"!
"Really"?
"Sure! I haven't really gotten started on decorating this place to it's full potential cuz I gotta actually finish uploading and storing all of the Atlas databanks and stuff. But anyways, just....don't touch my collection".
"No one wants to touch your stupid Handsome Jack stuff".
Fiona and Sasha walked to his desk. "Hmph...He's so full of himself. A golden bird? Who the hell would want a golden bird in their office"
"Looks like a Rakk bird......"
"Could be... either way, it's shitty". Fiona opened his drawers. "Oh! hello beautiful".
"What"!
"Shhhh"!
"That's a big wad of cash! Why would he just keep this lying around"?
"To see if you two would steal it". He snatched it clean out Fiona's hands. "I rest my case"
"What! How would you even have known we wanted to come here anyways"!
"Well, you wanted to know what I've been doing for the past 4 months. And so..."
"Oh please! You pulled that outta your ass! We could've cared less about what you were doing".
"Sure! Right"!
"Yeah! No one cared! Not even Loader Bot and Gortys"!
Loader Bot and Gortys looked at them. "We absolutely did care, Rhys! I missed you since we defeated that big, scary, rock monster"!
"I was interested".
Rhys crossed his arms. "Disappointed of how much you FAILED at trying to make me feel bad"?
"Ugh, I'll be out in the Caravan".
"Yeah, me too. Rhys, you should show us more someday. Oh! By the way, Thanks for the gun"!!
Rhys was irritated. "I didn't say you! Could have it! Hey! Give it ba-"
Sasha ran back and reached to give Rhys a kiss on the cheek. "Bahhck, uhh, uhum". She pinched it slightly and ran back to Fiona.
Loader Bot and Gortys left too. "It's been fun"! Gortys waved her hands to Rhys.

"Dude, this place is awesome sauce! We were s'supposed to talk on maybe having the Hyperion minions, come work here. They're really a worthless, hopeless mess anyways. Aaand they admire you. Y'know, the broken shackles thing? You'll be their boss! At least they won't be pressured like they were on Helios. They'll have some corporal freedom at Atlas".
Rhys scratched his head. "Hmm, yeaaaah, yeaaaaah that sounds like that could work! Hey, and I can't leave my bro hangin' eh? You can be Vice CEO"!
Vaughn's eyes lit up. "Really?! Really Bro?! You mean that"?!
"Hell yeah dude! C'mon"!
Rhys and Vaughn bro fisted. "Man, You know how awesome that's gunna be?! Us, Bros, working side by side! Together! Not killing anything or anyone but, trying to make Pandora great again!...Or just great...period".
Jack folded his arms and cut his eyes in the direction Vaughn and Rhys. "Hmmm...".

Rhys and Vaughn hopped in the Caravan. Fiona started driving away from the Atlas facility. "Uh, Rhys? Yeah, We're going to Hollow Point...you remember our deal right"?
Rhys looked at Fiona. "What deal? We didn't make a deal".
Fiona stopped short and everyone went flying forward. "Ugh, Fiii"! Sasha got up to get to her gun. "Ow...my spine! Ugh! Dammit"!
"Hey! What the hell was that for"?!
"You don't remember my HAT"?!
She pointed to the top of her head profusely, which, there used to be a hat.
"Oh, hehe, yeah".
"Yeah".
She started driving again.
"Rhysie! Was damned surprised that you found that shotgun! Jeehesus! I'm pretty sure you'll be using that on one of your shit employees someday, eh"?
"No, I will not. I'm not going to be a Hyperion ding-a-ling Because, I, have a fresh, new start. Hyperion's rule has died and so has my constant reminiscence of that company".
"So then whydaya have it"?!
"Because......" Rhys started to blush. "Because of you".
"D'aw, Pumpkiiinn".
Rhys turned to look at Jack. He smiled. "You truly are obsessed with me. Like that cuckoo, Nakayama".
"Well, uh, He did, bring you back to life".
"No he didn't. He brought my consciousness back...or at least, half of it! If he would have brought my actual fucking body back with it, I'd definitely thank him for it! But unfortunately, he's extremely DEAD and I'm extremely HOLOGRAPHIC so that even if he was alive, I wouldn't be able to rip his balls off and stuff them in his eye sockets"!!!
Rhys gave Jack that pouty face. "Uhhhh, The rage"!
Gortys opened the hatch above him. "Rhys, I promise! I did not rage! Please don't be upset! And If I did! Then I am very, very, very sorry"!
"No, Gortys... It's my fault. Sorry".
"Oh! Ok"!
She smiled as she let the door slam. Startling Rhys.
"I'm very, truly sorry Rhys. My bad! I really need to work on that. Just, heh, Y'know, I miss touching myself, and Y'know, screwing people......oh! Waaaait".

The Caravan went silent for a bit

"Whew! I totally forgot I could do this"! Vaughn and Sasha looked at Rhys confused. Fiona wanted to look over her shoulder so bad. "What the hell's wrong with him"?
"Nothiiinng sweetcheeks! Just, feeling ALIVE! Although, Y'know, my body was much sexier than this. But! The point is, I have the ability to sex people to sleep and beat this joystick whenever I please"!! Rhys, uh, yeah, Rhys pointed to his genital area. "It's small! But Nothing a little thumb and index finger can't do"!
"What"?! Sasha dropped the gun directly to the floor.
"Rhys! You better not be drinking again"!
Rhys shook Jack out of his head as Jack was laughing hysterically. "Idiot"!! Rhys yelled quietly.
"I totally forgot I can take over your body! Ahaaaaahahahaaaa!! Oh man! Look at your friends' faces! Oh god! Aw man"!
Rhys turned his face to his friends. Who looked more freaked out than him. "Rhys"!!
"Yeah! What"!
"What the hell is the matter with you"!!
"He was being weird like the last time we were at Atlas".
"Bro, you told me you got rid of it". Vaughn mumbled.
"I did"!
"Got rid of what"?!
"Of, that thing, you and I were talking about...Vaughn"!
"Yeah! That thing that we were talking about, back at the Office"?
"Yeah, back there, where we, got rid of it".
"Yes".
Sasha raised an eyebrow. "Listen, I don't care, ok? As long as you don't touch me, ANYwhere, I could care less of how much of a nut you are". Sasha warned.
"Same goes for me, idiot". Fiona chimed.
Rhys sat back down. Giving Jack an irritated look. "Oh, ligh'n up"!
"YOU, lighten up"!
Sasha slammed her palm on the desk, startling Vaughn and Rhys. "Will you quit it"!
"Stop being a weirdo, Rhys... you're the CEO of Atlas now... We don't need another nutjob ruling another major company again".
"Ohhh, who is she calling a nut"!
Rhys looked angrily at Jack.
Jack smiled, widely. "Oh, don't say you didn't like it, baby". He vanished, back into Rhys's head, again...