Chapter 1

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I stared at the piece of paper for several minutes, wondering what the hell I could possibly say to father to make all of this okay.

HIV positive.

AIDS.

I'm going to be sick.

I let the paper fall from my hands and covered my mouth to hide the sobs in my throat. "Oh shit." I mutter.

"Ryan? Ryan what are the results?" Dad asks from outside the bathroom door. "Is everything okay?"

"No dad." I say. The only thing I see through the tears is my reflection in the mirror. 'You dirty whore' it says. That's what dad will say.

"Ryan, please let me in." Dad says, gently tapping on the door again.

"Dad, go home."

"Ryan. What's going on? What's the matter?" His voice is slightly more fearful this time. He knows something's seriously wrong. I reach over and unlock the door. Dad quickly comes in and looks at me and then at the paper on the floor. "Ryan?" I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing all of this would just end.

He reaches down and takes the paper off the floor. I watch him cautiously as his eyes read over the results. "Ryan..." He says quietly. His aged brown eyes looked up at me sadly and they asked me 'why?' I shake my head, feeling the tears roll down my cheeks. "Ryan is this.." I nod. He pulls me into his arms and I cry on his shoulder.

•••

I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked to the local bakery I go to. Every morning a get a Boston Cream. Maybe I can tell Spencer about the news and he'll give me a free coffee.

I walk in and the door bell rings. The boy at the counter turns towards me and smiles.

Who the hell is this?

Where the fuck is Spencer?

Dammit. I was looking forward to that coffee. "Hi!" The boy says happily. "Anything I can get for you?" The boy had dark brown hair that were just barely out of his also dark brown eyes. He had a huge, white toothed grin and he was very skinny, but not as skinny as me. Unsurprisingly.

"Um... Yeah, I'll have a Boston Cream and..." Fuck it. I deserve a coffee right now. "A Carmel latte with extra whipped cream."

"Oooo that's my favorite!" The boy yelps as he starts the coffee machine. I quirk an eyebrow at him and smile awkwardly. It's too fucking early for this shit.

"Hey, does Spencer happen to be here?"

"Nah. He's on spring break... like every other student. Which leads me to the question, why are you here?" He smiles slyly and leans against the counter. I watched his hips sway and I swallow hard.

"I um... There's been a lot going on lately. I was really sick a couple weeks ago... so I um.. I canceled my plans with my friends."

"Ah huh." He says and he gets a donut out, wrapping it in paper.

"Well what are you doing here? Sure I may not be partying, but at least I'm not serving collage students coffee and donuts." He smiles. I really like that smile.

"Touché." The boy hands me the coffee and donut. I hand him a few bills and quarters and he puts them in the cash register. "Have a nice day, Ryan."

"Wait. How do you know my name?"

"Spencer told me about a guy named Ryan that comes in here every morning. He said he was tall, brown hair, brown eyes..." He counts on his fingers. "And he said you were really skinny." He grins. "I wasn't sure it was you, until I noticed how thin you were."

"Oh..."

"I'm Brendon. Brendon Urie. Freshman. Music major. Just moved here last week." He puts his hand out. I stare at him for a moment. "Are you gonna shake my hand or what?" A small smile creeps on my lips and I shake his hand.

"Ryan Ross. Senior in creative writing."

"Nice to meet you Ryan." I smile and nod, turning to leave the shop. As I leave Brendon says, "See you tomorrow Ryan." I bit my lip, trying to contain my grin and leave the bakery, silently thanking Spencer for his absence.

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