I Adored You

Chapter 4: An Admiration Running Fathoms Deep

Rain clung to the window panes, some cascading down the glass, and thunder sounded, paired with the flash of lightning. My eyes had widened before softening as I continued to stare at the window from the bed.

I felt my hands curling around the softness of the pillow before I soon adjusted the pillow from under my head.

The thunder roared again, causing my heart to palpitate in my chest. It was too noisy to fall asleep. I was surprised that Nina could during this storm.

I turned my body around to take a glimpse of the woman who was peacefully asleep. A glimmer of a smile appeared against my thin lips as I had admired her effortlessly beautiful figure. I watched as her chest had lifted and lowered slightly, the covers only covering half her body. I inched forward and felt the softness of the white blanket and gazed at the side of her face as I lifted it, adjusting it over her.

How could she be so... beautiful? All of the time? Even while she was sleeping, she could take my breath away.

Without realizing it, my hand rose, extending out in front of me as if I were about to touch her. My fingers just inches away from touching her cheek, I felt the sudden urge to brush my fingers over her skin. Was her skin as soft as it looked? Would it be warm to the touch, much like her warm gaze she had always given me? Or, would it be cold? Would it recoil under my invading fingers.

The grey clouds covered half of the moon, leaving my face half in darkness. And, like the obscure half shadow, I had also found my heart partially veiled within that darkness. I felt my heart sinking, crumbling the more my eyes had glanced at the raven-haired beauty.

My eyes narrowed at the hand I had extended, and I soon felt my fingers slowly curling into a soft fist. My lips parted as my gaze then traveled back towards the window, feeling hopeless; lost.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't sleep next to Nina that night, and I couldn't continue to gaze at her like I had.

With that resolve, I inched away from Nina, careful to not wake her, and left the room.

Once in the kitchen, I reached into the cabinet and grabbed a glass out. I watched the water as I poured it into the glass and began sipping it, enjoying the coolness of the liquid as it went down my throat.

My head turned, my eyes became fixated at the door that lead out to the balcony.

It was chaotic outside.

Wind blew from the East, and I had soon felt its push as I had found myself now standing in the center of that balcony. My eyes closed, I breathed in the changing scent of the environment, the wind and rain distracting my mind from its previous hardship.

The sound of the rain, with the occasional interruption of the thunder, had compelled my mind elsewhere. I was no longer thinking about the raven-head in my bedroom, but, instead, of the feeling of flying. I felt like I was floating- drifting off to a place else where. A place where I didn't have such predicaments. A place where I didn't have to carry all of this guilt.

A place where my heart would be whole again.

I felt the corner of my lips curve into a bright smile as I began imagining a woman, from one of the raging clouds, extending a hand out for me to take. I reached my own arm out, yearning to meet my hand with hers.

"Yes, please take me away," I had thought, staring into the powerful angelic being from above. Erase these unbearable feelings.

I didn't want to feel this way for her anymore. I had tried desperately to stop myself from enjoying her presence so much; to stop wanting something I could never have with her. But...