Alpha Mate

Chapter Three

It's been three weeks since the rejection. My health has been getting worse. I dropped out of school a week after because the pain got worse and I can barely stand. Nick's mate has to help me dress, shower, and other things that are inappropriate for a guy to do for me. Every morning or four to three hours I throw up. 

I told Nick 'that' afternoon I got home about what happen. He hasn't talked to Kyle since then, only in meetings. Ash, Nick's mate has been there for me everyday, so has Louis and Nick, when they can. 

Last night, the pack Doctor checked on me. Apparently, when I have my heat I'm not going to make it. I haven't talked to anyone or eaten. I just stare at the ceiling above my bed since the Doctor left. I have thought of things to write for my funeral, so Nick can read it. 

' I am the dead. Short days ago I lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, loved and were loved, and now I lie in heaven's fields.' 

Nick came into my room and sat in the chair beside my bed. 

I did not look at him or move. "Tell him," was all I said. Now I sit in my darkroom, alone.

'Love is showing concern and by act on its desire of the well being of another. It is demon started in that it seeks the benefit of the other person without regard for that person's worthiness to receive love. It is a love that is matter of one's will. In other words a person who shows true biblical love decides to the love the other person because he wants to. 

The word is not "eros" but "agape." It is not sentimental, sensual, or social love. This is the super natural love of god. "But god commendeth his love toward us in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us." This is love the god puts in a person's heart when they receive chrish as their savior. It comes when one is indwelled by the holy sprit and received the nature of god. Only god can make it real and only god can enable it to us to extend it to others. This is not a verse that refers to love for friends and family. But true love.  

I may have not felt this but I want you all to feel and to find true love. 

I am the dead. Short days ago I lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, loved and were loved, and now I lie in heaven's fields. 

I do love you all. So please forget me and live on.' 

 

I put down my journal after writing my letter to everyone to hear in church. 

I wipe the tears away as I hear yelling downstairs. I groan as it gets closer and the stomping is louder. 

"Where is she?!" I hear a familiar voice say. My bedroom door opens but I don't look. 

"Kate?" The voice says. I look over to Louis standing by the door way. "I didn't know. I'm so so-sorry." He starts crying. Louis has been there for me but has not heard the news the Doctor told me. He walks to me lying by my side, putting his head on my chest, hugging my waist. "Your so pale. Kate, what if I mate with you. You could be better. It would be just like our ev-." 

"Louis, no. Your mate is out..... there.... waiting on you..... No." I say panting because how the pain increased. 

"Kate, I don't have a mate."