Chapter eleven ↠

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"You did what?" I ask Ben, my eyes widening in shock. I place a hand around my mouth and try not to giggle, I didn't want to sound rude by laughing at his embarrassment. 

"You don't exactly have common sense when you're drunk ok?" He laughs, trying not to choke on the coffee he had just swallowed.

I crack into a fit of laughter. I am laughing so hard, I can't stop. I wave my hand in the air, my flag of apology. I don't know why, but the waves of laughter keep coming. I try to catch my breath and snort, staring at him wide-eyed, shocked that I would do such a thing and he suddenly bursts out laughing. 

People think of laughing as a noise that comes from the mouth, but when Ben laughed it was nothing like that. The laugh was in his eyes, in the way his face changed into that vision of relaxed joy and unrestrained mirth. With each surge of laughter, all the barriers between us seemed to break, and he didn't feel like my therapist anymore. He felt like more than that. Perhaps my body could just not contain it any longer. I'm not sure, but his laughter fills me with joy.

"That's the funniest story I have ever heard." I manage to spit out, biting my lip in attempt to hold in the edit of giggles that were begging to come out again.

His lips formed a smooth curve, and I felt butterflies building up not he inside of my chest. When was the last time I had ever laughed with Sam; it felt like years ago. Maybe it was?

"Now you have to tell me an embarrassing story." He says cheekily, giving me a wink.

I rack my brain for a funny memory.

"One time I got a nose bleed mid-makeout session."

Ben cracks up into laughter. We were in one of those silly moments where everything was funny, even if it wasn't. Everyone in the coffee shop turned at the sound of his sweet, joyful laughter, it echoed throughout the entire place. His laugh was a glorious sound that filled me from top to bottom.

He leans in and touches my hair, "Did you do something different to your hair, it looks different somehow?"

This was the first physical contact we had ever made; and I felt my cheeks heat up. I giggle slightly at his silliness. Boys.

"Are you just trying to make an excuse to touch me, I do have a boyfriend you know." I say laughing and pushing his hand away in a playful manner.

His lips curved up, but it wasn't the same smile he had worn just a couple of seconds ago. It was different; there was no sparkle in his eyes, and his dimples didn't pop out the same way. It felt fake, almost.

"Hey... Amanda?" He questions nervously.

"Yeah?" 

"Do you really think you're worthless?"

I feel my whole stomach drop. The only answer I can give is a shrug of the soldiers.

"You shouldn't think that, you're beautiful." 

I let out a loud cackle, "Funny joke."

His green eyes were a endless pool of sadness, "Why don't you believe me?"

"Cause it's not true, I'm disgusting." I sigh, wishing the topic would change back to happy again.

"Not at all." He says, his face blushing a delicate shade of pink, "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

I appreciate his effort, but there was no way I was buying it. All my life I had been told I was worthless, stupid and pathetic, there was no way a few compliments was going to change that. 

I drink the last part of my coffee; cringing at the disgusting taste that runs down my throat. It was cold. I hate cold coffee.

"Guess we were talking so much it went cold." I laugh, tucking a strand of hair away from my face and looking up at him through my eye lashes.

A giant smirk grew over his face, stretching up into his dimple. That was the smile that I adored.

He pulls out his wallet and places down a twenty dollar bill.

"No!" I exclaim, pushing the money back towards him and grabbing out my own wallet. There was no way I was going to let him pay for a second time, "Let me pay."

He looks un-certain; though he doesn't object. I place down my twenty dollar bill and then we head out into the cold, Scandinavian air. 

I look up at him, a huge grin spread across my face. It felt as though everything had changed. I knew I wouldn't despise coming to therapy tomorrow, if that meant I got to see his pretty face again.

"Well, I guess this is where we part ma'am." He jokes, putting put a hand for me to shake.

I ignore it, instead wrapping my hands around his shoulders and pulling him into a hug. His arms wrapped around my waist. His embrace was warm, and his big, strong arms seemed very protective when wrapped around my frail body. The world around me melted away as I squeezed him back, not wanting the moment to end.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow." He said, smiling.

He looked so much younger now than he ever did. I liked it when he was like this; when he wasn't so serious.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." I say, giving him one last wave goodbye.

I knew there would be a smile permanently stained upon my lips for the rest of the night.

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Awww these guys are cute :) Remember to vote and comment and let me know if you like/dis-like anything about my writing! I have so many assignments to get to so sorry if I'm not posting as regularly as I was before! Don't worry though because I won't be like those writers who take months to publish a new chapter :) love you guys lots and can't wait to publish the next one!

Who do you think Amanda suits better, Ben or Sam?

Gracie x

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