What One Video Can Trigger: #IMAGINE.

#HerTruthsOfBeingAFan"

In the wee hours of the night, she always find herself browsing through her news feeds, timeline, playlists & stuff to stalk, re-watch or listen again just everything about her biases: photos, videos, audios even & whatnot.

From day to day, she always finds herself imagining things of all sorts with them in it-may it be as their fan, manager, friend, girlfriend, or wife while they're in their fanmeets, fansigns, concerts, music shows, variety shows, radio shows, documentaries, etc., and end up squealing like a total lunatic by herself or having sudden shy smiles while in public.

However, at certain points in time, she also finds herself thinking all about the former and ask, "Would there ever be a chance for all of these to even happen? Have I gone too far? Is there still hope? But... I'm just a fan, afterall..."

Yes, a fan. Just a fan. A fan who's miles apart from the boys she adores so much. A fan who's in love with her so-called babies she says are to die for.

Yet, also a fan who, every single day, faces bitter reality that leaves a taste of disgust in her mouth thinking they may never know her in the first place.

Wait-they will never know me at a personal level wholly, she says. That's a fact-painful as it is. And everyday, she tries to accept that spiteful truth. That they will stay as stars she looks up to, but never ever will she ever reach. Grieve as if it'll be the end of her. Envy and turmoil eating her. Being a fan is really hard. It was never easy. And it never will be.

But like the pouring rain on a dark night, like how the coldness bites her skin, she still finds ways-be able to seek tender comfort from all the sheets, like how she gains comfort from their smiles on photos or their voices in their songs, even their laughter on clips.

Yes, she is just a fan. But one fan like her makes a thousand others forming the fandom, and she exists because of her biases.

Up till today, she still wakes up-and late just to add, with all the whimsical thoughts and themes in her head. A tune in mind and a smile on her lips. But that's the truth of being a fan. It is what makes it all interesting. Fancy being a fan whose heart is stuck in the clouds, but at the same time, has her head be sane in the entry of reality.

She will remain a fan, and would only stop IF she grows tired of it.
And this is my story~