Teratophilia (Sansxreader)

One

Y/n's pov

I've always liked monsters. Even before they were able to be on the surface, I was always so fascinated by the thought of them. My parents hated them. They even kicked me out after I said that I was happy the barrier was broken. I lost their respect, my house and even my friends. I got an apartment but I had to find some way to get money and prostitution was not an option. So I looked around and finally got a job working at Grillby's down the street from my place.

It's been about six months since I started working there, I have the highest income there-next to Grillby that is. Most of the people are polite and even try to make my job easier. Others, not so much......

"'Ey sugartits how you doin'?" One of the drunk human customers spits out, smacking my backside. "Just fine. I'll be even better when your're in jail for sexual harassment." I glare at him. He rolls his eyes and surprisingly goes back to talking to his friend. They usually bother me until Grillby actually steps in and deals with them. It must be my lucky day today. I walk back behind the bar and set the dirty dishes in their area.

Grillby's place has improved from what he's told me about what he had underground. This place has a long bar, the front is able to have 10 tables and 15 booths along the wall and leave enough room for a stage. There is always someone performing on there. It's usually some human with a mediocre singing voice acting a fool. But the robot Mettaton, who is a huge celebrity now, likes to come perform and show off for a couple of skeletons whenever he's with them.

I'm familiar with the skelebros. Papyrus is a tall and loud one that is hopelessly infatuated with Mettaton, and Sans is the short, chill one. I can tell that he doesn't care for the robot but likes to humor his brother. He also tells horrible puns and flirts with me whenever he's here. I don't mind because he's pretty polite compared to the drunk human men who are almost twice my age. The only downside about him is that he drinks all of the ketchup.

Today is one of the days Mettaton is performing. He prances about the stage like a peacock but he pumps up the place and that sells more drinks. Sans is sitting at the bar and since Grillby has a metric fuckton of burgers and fries to cook, I have to play bartender. After orders and orders of mainly whiskey and beer, Sans calls me over.
"Hey kiddo, just-" before he could finish his sentence, I place a bottle of ketchup in front of him. "Heh you know me. We should hang out sometime so we can... Ketchup...." His left eye socket closes in a wink. I can't help but shake my head and laugh at that stupid pun. I lean over "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity." His eye sockets shift in confusion. "Is it good?" He starts squirting ketchup in his mouth. I step aside so I don't get showered in it, "I can't seem to put it down." I smirk as ketchup sprays onto the space of bar in front of him and even on some liquor bottles on my side. "Good one..." He chuckles, wiping his chin off. I begin wiping down the mess with a nearby rag. "Did you hear about the cartoonist found dead in his home? The details are sketchy." I giggle uncontrollably "oh my god.." I cover my face. "Oi bubble butt I need some more Daniels. Ova' here." I roll my eyes and blush at the nickname. My butt isn't that big... Is it? I walk over and pour him another shot. "Eh.. Just leave the bottle..." I set the bottle down and walk back over to Sans. "Don't worry about that guy..." "I'm use to it" I shrug.
He quickly changes the subject before the awkward silence creeps in, "Where do you find giant snails?" "Where?" I rest my elbows on the bar. "On the end of a giant's fingers." "Oh my god." I cover my face and laugh. "Y-y/n, Y/n. Do you know what my jacket is made of?" He pulls at it. "Mm I don't know... What?" "Boyfriend material." He winks as a blue tint appears across his cheek bones. I'm pretty sure that's his form of blushing because it happens every time he drops a hella cheesy pick up line. I come up with a perfect 'comeback' to it, "Really, I thought it would be Bonefriend." I wink. The light blue on his face darkens as he laughs and fiddles with the nozzle of the ketchup bottle. "I'll be right back Sans." I bite my lip and walk down the bar, making sure everyone has plenty to drink, and walk back. He looks up at me and smirks, "Are you and orphanage? " I look back at him, confused. "Because I wanna give you kids." My jaw literally drops at that. "wHy?" I cover my mouth and laugh with Sans, who is completely blue in the face and almost dying with laughter. Since he was dropping horrible pick up lines, I decide to return fire, "Are you my appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me wanna take you out. " I grin as he covers his face with his boney hands. "Y/n, I don't know if I've told you this but you're smooth as hell." "Well I do talk to you a lot, I had to get it from somewhere. " he squirts some more ketchup in his mouth. "Mmm" he holds up a finger, "I got one." "Lay it on me." He opens his mouth to say something but he seems lost for words. "Uhh..." "Well? What is is?" "You're so beautiful I forgot my pickup line." My cheeks begin to burn. The look on his face indicates that he knows he's won. "I know. I'm that good." He chuckles and winks. I can't find anything good enough to say back. "You win this round." I squint at him playfully.