endless | mangaquest

endless

mangaquest/ooc/au. i don't own pokèmon.

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SHE FEELS LIKE SHE'S A BREATH AWAY FROM DROWNING.

She was never a fan of goodbyes. It occurred too much. To say it's scary would be an understatement. It was terrifying.

To hear that word-directed to her-makes her feel something. Not in a good way, either.

It feels like her lungs crushed and all the air inside her body left- and everything around her is poisonous and she needs something to hold on before she suffocates.

The first time she heard that word was indescribable and unexplainable.

Her father, looks at her with his mouth tilted upwards. His eyes held an emotion she's too young to understand- she thanks the gods above she hasn't, and maybe she'll cry right now if she does. He's holding a suitcase that looks too filled for its entirety, and Crystal thinks it might explode each minute passing now.

Months passed and preliminary school starts. Her father still hasn't come back and each day that passes she loses more hope.

"When will he come back?"

That was the five-word sentence that came out of her mouth so often it feels as if she's a robot programmed to do so and it hurts like hell because it's so familiar and it adds salt to the fresh wound because her mother smiles with her eyes flashing in despair and says, "Soon, honey."

She's five when she learns her father is dead. She stands in front of his casket with her vision blurred, only because the people around her are crying. So she cries. She's too young to understand why.

Strangers-she didn't care enough to remember their names-come up to her and tell her they're sorry. She doesn't understand either.

Her mother cries at exactly three in the morning after her father's death and sometimes it's too loud she wakes up.

She doesn't understand.

She's eight when her friend leaves for Italy. "It's a long flight- agonizing, irritating hours." Her friend says. She kisses Crystal on the cheek and she tells her that she'll miss her, and holds the promise that they'll meet again. Crystal just smiles and holds all the pain inside.

It's because Crystal knows she won't.

She had enough experience on that topic to know.

She's thirteen when her journal-or her diary, but Crystal's too embarrassed to admit that-breaks. At exactly ten fifty-three in the evening, when she's re-reading entries from past months to relive happiness she had lost, her diary's handle snaps with a crack and suddenly all the papers with messy handwriting scribbled in ink falls to the ground and Crystal loses all the motivation to fix them, so she just dumps all the papers to the bin.

A year later passed and she gets a letter written to her in print-which surprises her, because no one sends those anymore-and it tells her that her favorite aunt and her favorite uncle had divorced.

She googled the meaning because she's stupid and honestly- she's more stupid because she felt her own heart break as she read the words to its definition. She looks around and see a picture of the old couple's pretty faces and she feels it break even more.

She swears not to fall in love easily.

She's sixteen when she changes to a new school. Her old school was the only school she had known, and she's changing because her grades are falling and that's what her mother wants her to do.