Marked By Words - Phan

Chapter Six.

Dan~
*possible trigger warning*

I writhed in my sheets, the nightmares were coming back. I jolted upright and wiped the beads of sweat off my forehead. I could feel a sticky feeling on my leg and looked down at my mark, the cuts around it reopened. My instinct was to call for Phil to help me but I didn't want to bother him, plus I have to learn how to do things on my own. I stood up and pulled my pajama pants on over my boxers and shuffled towards the bathroom. I pressed the warm washcloth against my hip, wincing slightly. My breathing evened out and I decided it was time to go back to bed. I washed the cloth out, making sure there wasn't anything on it still and before I could open the door, Phil knocked.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"I have to pee." He said, sniffling. Why was he sniffling. I opened the door quickly and there he stood with red, puffy eyes.

"Are you okay?" I asked quickly. He nodded.

"Just had a bad dream that's all." He smiled but it didn't meet his eyes. I moved out of the doorway and he quickly shut the door behind him. I went back into my room, he probably didn't want to be bothered. I could hear his sniffles through the wall, it broke my heart hearing him cry. I put the pillows over my ears to try to block out the sound. It worked for a while before I heard Phil call my name. I removed the pillow and called back. "Dan, come here." I rushed to the bathroom and knocked.

"Are you alright?" I heard the door unlock and it slowly opened. I saw Phil, his entire face was red and his cheeks stained with tears. He quickly ran into me and I held him in my arms as he cried.

"I-I just d-don't want to be alone a-anymore." He cried. We sat down on the floor and I kissed the top of his head.

"Phil I promise, you're never going to be alone. As long as I'm breathing, you're not going to be alone." I could feel tears start to brim my eyes but I couldn't cry, I didn't want him to feel guilty. Phil mumbled something into my chest that I didn't hear. "What'd you say?" I asked and he looked up at me.

"I said I love you."

"I love you too, Phil."

--

When I woke up, the house was silent, I checked the time, Phil was at work so I had the house to myself. I climbed out of my blanket fortress and walked into the kitchen. There wasn't coffee in the pot but there was in my mug along with a sticky note on the side.

"Good morning, Dan. Have a great day!  Phil x."  He's a nice guy.

Phil~

I told my boss I was taking my lunch break and grabbed the book that I was currently reading and took it to the same spot we sat when Dan told me he got his mark. I finished eating my sandwich and threw away the paper bag before walking over to a customer.

"Can I help you find something?" I asked. The man turned around and looked at me, I instantly recognized him. "Matt..?"

"Hey, Phil! I didn't know you worked here. I should've guessed haha." He punched my arm lightly. "How've you been, man." I shrugged and forced myself to smile, last time I saw him is when I told him I was moving out.

"Same as always I guess." I 'laughed.' "How about yourself?"

"I'm great! After you moved out, Melissa moved it, you remember her, right? Anyway, she moved in and we immediately hit it off, we're getting married next month!" He said, smiling. I smiled back, marriage was a great thing.

"Congrats man!" I said. "I wish you two the best." His eyes widened.

"Hey, we used to be close a while ago, would you like to come? You can bring a guest if you want, maybe your partner?" I shrugged.

"I wouldn't mind going but I'd probably bring my flat mate, I'm not in a relationship."

"That works, what's her name?" He said, why did he assume it was a girl?

"His name is Dan." His smile faded slightly.

"You're not still in that.. 'Gay' thing right? You grew out of that." He asked. I don't like violence but it took everything to not smash his head into the shelves.

"It's not something you just grow out of, but yeah, I'm still gay." His smile disappeared all together.

"Oh, well, um, I'll text you the date of the wedding." He forced a laugh before walking away from me. I had a strong feeling I wasn't going to get that text.

--

I opened the door, the entire apartment was dark. Where was Dan? I walked over to his room and knocked, it smelt strange. I heard shuffling and giggling before the door opened.

"Hello Phil." Dan said, his eyes red and a goofy smile plastered on his face.

"Dan, are you high?" I asked. His smile widened and he nodded quickly. "I didn't know you smoked."

"Not a lot of people do. Care to join?" He asked. I thought about it for a minute before shrugging, what the hello, I need to let loose. I nodded and he laughed excitedly before pulling me into his room. He grabbed a brightly colored bowl from off the table beside him and used a lighter to pack down the pot. I was nervous but I didn't want it to show. Apparently it didn't work. "You don't have to if you don't want."

"No, I want to I just.. don't know how.." I said, embarrassed. He smiled and said it was okay. He handed me the bowl.

"While I'm lighting it, keep your hand over the hole and suck in. When I'm done, keep sucking but let go of the hole then take the bowl away from your mouth and inhale and hold it for as long as you can." I was still confused but I took the bowl from his hand and pressed it to my lips. He lit it and I began sucking in, the smoke burning my throat. I immediately blew it all out and coughed my lungs up.

"I'm sorry." I said in between coughs.

"Nah, it's okay, it's your first time I'm assuming." I nodded in agreement. "That's fine. I want to try something, do this." He made a circle with his hand and pressed it to his lips. I copied his movements. "Keep it there and keep your mouth open." He took a hit  and pressed his lips to the other side of my hand, our faces inches apart. He blew the smoke into my mouth and pulled away. "Inhale and keep it in for as long as you can." I obeyed and held it in for a few seconds before blowing it out. My head felt warm and heavy.

"Woah.." I said as my eyes drooped. "I feel great." Dan laughed and stared at me.

"You're funny when you're high." He said.

"Can we do that again?" I asked, pressing my hand against my lips to show him what I meant. He smiled and took another hit. As he blew the smoke into my mouth, I dropped my hand and the only thing between our lips was the air. I wasn't sure who did moved towards the other but next thing I knew, I was kissing him and his hands were running through my hair. We stayed like that for a while before Dan pulled away. He looked into my eyes and smiled.

"We didn't have to kiss if you didn't want to." He said, looking away. I placed my fingers under his chin and titled his head up so he was looking at me.

"I really wanted to and I really liked it." I whispered before closing the gap between us again.