Welcome to Paradise // Billie Joe Armstrong // #Wattys2017

Son of rage and love

"You're awake". I try to crack a smile at Billie, but the muscles in my face are completely stressed. I'm nailed to the ground and it feels as if I'm standing in quicksand that's trying to pull me down and suck me up.

"Who the fuck are you?!" Billie snaps at me. I'm a little taken aback by the sudden change of his emotion, but my tension makes it near impossible for me to answer. I stare at his face sheepishly until he cocks an eyebrow at me as a reminder I haven't answered his question yet. "Ail-Aileen, I'm Aileen" I stutter.

"Aileen, huh?" I nod shyly as I study the carpet beneath me. "Well, Aileen. Then can you tell me WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON AND WHERE THE FUCK MY WIFE IS?!" I look up in shock. Billie's crying has stopped and his face is now turning red of anger. I can feel the tears rising up to the surface of my eyes, but refuse to let them escape. I recollect all my nerves and take a deep breath. "I don't know what happened to you or your wife, Billie. You fainted right in front of the main entrance of this school." "Do you know what's going on outside?" I ask carefully.

Billie looks at me as if I've just said the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. I feel so dumb and embarrassed that I want to bury myself in a deep hole and rot to death. "How do you expect me to know what's going on outside if I don't even know what's going on inside?" Billie asks, while slowly getting back on his feet.

I sigh. This is exactly the scenario I'd hoped to avoid. Billie is completely disorientated and he has no clue of the shit that's happening beyond those gates. I think for a while, trying to figure out how to reply to his question. I can't think of anything as I'm afraid to upset him even more with every word I speak.

I look up at Billie again, but drop my eyes back to the carpet when I cross his gaze. Eye contact has never been one of my strengths. "I can tell you everything I know, but can I first patch up your wound a little?" I look up in sorrow, trying to scan his face.

"That for me?" He asks, pointing at the medicine I'm holding. "Yeah, I -uh, just went to look for them in the school nursery" I smile shyly.
"Fine" Billie shrugs, while walking over to me. My muscles tense up completely. He's now standing in front of me and he's so close it's terrifying. All of a sudden, he reaches out for my hand. I flinch, surprised by his spontaneous action.

"The uh- medicine?" Billie asks as I look up to him. "Oh yeah, sorry" I laugh nervously as I clumsily hand over the things I've gathered. "We can go to my room" I suggest while pointing at the open door in the back of the hallway.
"Ah, the room with the annoying clock" Billie states. I chuckle a little at his response. "Yeah, I still have to do something about that"

We make our way into the room. Billie puts the medicine on the nightstand and takes place on the same bed I've put him on earlier and removes his shirt in a swift movement. I start to fiddle with the bottom of my vest nervously, a little uncomfortable with the sight of the shirtless Billie in front of me. I scan the tattoos on his upper body, but soon my eyes make their way to the wound in his side, just above his belt. He carefully places both of his legs on the bed, cursing lightly in pain, and is now laying down, his head resting against the headboard.

"Do what 'ya gotta do, I'm all set" Billie says, while turning his head in my direction. "Uh, yeah sure" I mumble. I can feel the anxiety taking control of my body. Does he think I'm a nurse? I have absolutely no clue of what to do and Billie's awareness makes it even harder for me to stay calm.

I walk over to the nightstand and pick up a tube of Betadine. "Okay, this'll hurt a little" I warn Billie as I'm about to smear the thickened paste on his wound. My hand is trembling madly as I get in touch with his skin. I spread out the substance slowly, trying not to hurt him. But then again, the man is inked from bottom to top and has probably felt more pain than the itching of some Betadine.

I clean my hands a little with a paper towel and grab the bandage off the nightstand. "Okay eh- if you could, like eh- get up a little bit then I can wrap the bandage around you" I look up at Billie who is staring at me intensely. "You have no clue what you're doing, do you?" He asks, his eyes still bored into mine. I can feel my face turning red as I'm trying to come up with an answer. I eventually give up and lower myself on the chair near the desk.

"You don't know what's happening out there, Billie" I sigh. "The entire world is a giant mess and the government is as good as gone."
"I don't care about the entire world and I most certainly don't care about the damned government. I want to find my wife and get the fuck out of here" Billie snaps at me. I look back at him. He might be a complete ass right now, but I can't help but feel a sense of sympathy for him. "You really don't get it. An apocalypse broke out two months ago. A zombie-apocalypse."

Billie looks at me and starts laughing, resting his head against the wall next to him. "Oh man, what drugs did I take last night? Listen up, I don't know what crazy shit I've done, but you're going to fix up this wound whether you know how to or not and then I'm going to search Adrienne. I'm done with this crap"

I can feel the anger starting to rise inside of me. I get up from my chair and walk over to the bed. "Listen up, dickhead" I yell at Billie, pointing a finger at him. "You clearly don't seem to understand everything that's going on, but outside are fucking zombies. And there are a hell of a lot of them. I saved your damn ass out there earlier today and I don't know where your wife is, but she sure isn't inside this building, because we are the only ones in here. And if you don't believe me, you go check it out yourself" "And I'm not fixing that wound of yours either" I spit at him, throwing the bandage in his face and storming out of the room.

I'm sitting on the first step of the stairs, my head buried in my knees. Salty tears are streaming over my cheeks silently. I thought meeting my idol was going to be different. Everything was planned out in my head perfectly; I would meet Billie after a Green Day concert and we would talk for hours about the most random things. He would tell me I looked pretty or whatever. Just say something to make me feel special, make me seem like I actually mattered. Not some cheap-ass backstage sex if you think that was what I was getting at. I wasn't interested in him like that, not at all. All I wanted was someone that cared, but I was so blind. Like a married 43-year old man was ever going to find me special. I was just another one of his fucking fans. And he had many.

I'm wrapped up in my delirious thoughts as I hear someone approaching me. "Leave me alone" I growl, my head still resting on my knees. "I saw it. Them"
I look up and see Billie sitting next to me, staring blankly in front of him. "What is happening?" Billie shakes his head in confusion and looks at me, desperate for an answer. "I don't know, Billie. But I do know that your wife is not here. I saw you enter the playground of this school earlier today. You were alone and by the time I got downstairs you had already fainted." I explain.
"But, I would never leave her behind. What if she's dead?!" As soon as his eyes start tearing up again, he breaks eye contact. "I can't remember a single thing. My last memory is about hanging out at a bar with Mike and Tre and after that nothing. Nothing" "And then there's this fucking wound in my side that I also have no clue of how I got it. I've sorta been dumped in this mess and it's just really overwhelming y'know. I'm sorry I was being such a fucking ass" Billie cracks a smile at me, stretching his arms and inviting me in for a hug. I look at him again, hesitating what to do. I eventually accept his offer by wrapping my arms around him tightly, letting the warmth of his body embrace me. I swear that I have never felt more safe than at that moment.

God, that man really is the son of rage and love.