Hetalia self-harm and depression (Canada) (PruCan)

Chapter 2

Alfred decided to walk to school with me, which doesn't happen very much.

'Maybe things will change for the better today.'

I thought, but I didn't want to get my hopes up, for I did the first time, and he didn't keep that promise.

"So Mattie do you sit with anyone at lunch?"

Alfred asked me, and I looked down in sadness.

"N-No I usually just si-sit alone in a back table, far from everyone else..."

I told him, and he smiled.

"Well today and now on you will have people to sit with!"

He proudly said, looking back in front of us.

'I don't think so.'

This has happened before. My entire family remembering me, but after a day or two they forget me, but it's even worse the few days following. Papa doesn't make me breakfast, lunch, or dinner (he makes our lunches because he doesn't trust school food), so I have to wait until late at night to get food, because if anyone is awake they think a ghost is stealing food.

Alfred doesn't say anything to me in our classes (he says hi to me almost every day), and no one sees me when I'm home. When I don't get a paper from the teacher Alfred would mostly tell them they forgot about me, but he doesn't do that the few days after, so I usually get behind because I don't get the worksheets.

Those are the days I'm most depressed. The first day I'm somewhat ok, but after that I don't feel motivated to do anything, so I just stay home, and lay in bed all day. During those days I don't eat much, shower, or sleep more then 3 hours a night, and the hallucinations are worse, so is the craving to cut or self harm in someway. Sometimes it's scratching, sometimes it's punching walls or hair pulling, once I even burned myself during that time.

Those last only about 5-7 days, and after a few days papa comes into my room, and makes sure I'm ok. After he does I start to feel better (but it takes a day or two), so I return to school, and Alfred gives me the worksheets I missed, if he remembers that is. His friends that sit with him, he always invites me to sit with him during those days, forget I exist too (so I'm guessing Feliciano's boyfriend and his brother won't remember me after today/tomorrow).

Alfred sits with a lot of people at lunch.

First is Kiku, a Japanese kid that hates being touched with a fiery passion, and is really quiet. Despite that I've heard he's a very skilled fighter.

Next is Feliciano and Lovino, the Italian twins. Both are easily scared, and can be kind of useless, but they try very hard to be useful. Lovino can be pretty rude (and has a thing with calling people bastard), but I've heard once you get to know him (the only people that really see this though is Feli and Lovino's boyfriend Antonio) he's very nice and caring. While Feliciano is always nice and cheerful, and is apparently dating this German guy Lovino calls 'potato bastard,' who I'm guessing is moving here today.

Next is Antonio, Lovino's boyfriend. He is basically the opposite of Lovino, all always seeing the brighter side of things, and is one of the most caring people you will ever meet. Although I've been told that he has this ax, and will not hesitate to use if if someone he cares about is hurt. A few years ago he dated Roderich, but after a few months they broke it off, and both moved on.

Roderich and Elizaveta are the most known couple around school. Roderich kind of always seems he has a stick up his ass, and Elizaveta is very motherly, so how they mange to stay together is a mystery to a lot of people. Elizaveta used to wear boy clothes, and believed she was a boy for her first few years after birth (until she was in 5th grade and puberty hit her). Roderich is very talented when it comes to the piano, I've never met anyone better than him.