The Perks Of Being Amanda Summerlyn

Chapter 11: Secrets

After hours of watching superhero movies- we only got through three-, playing three rounds of Twister, eating microwaved s'mores, and having vodka mixed with Coke, we settle down for bed at 12:30. The guys are taking the basement while Aliza, Faith, and I take the living room. The T.V. is off and the curtains are drawn, making the room extra dark.

I lay on my sleeping bag, head spinning and heart pounding from tonight. I haven't been to a sleepover since the beginning of the school year when Ally invited The Clique over and we had a dance party and drank champagne she managed to swipe from her dad's wine cellar in the basement. We had played Ouija and made words like "penis" and "bang".

Aliza's foot is in my face as she lays sprawled out on the blanket she spread out, sleeping peacefully. "Amanda?" Faith whispers. She's next to me, laying on her hands.

"Yeah?" I say.

"You still awake?"

"Yeah."

"Good," she asks, scooting closer to me. I can smell lavender-scented lotion and a smokey-kind of scent that smells like the living room on her skin. "I have to tell you something," she whispers. She scoots closer and leans in, cupping her hand around my ear. "I know you like my brother," she whispers.

I feel my heart stop at that moment and I look at her, expecting her to be giving me the evil eye. "You do?" I ask.

I see her nod, even in the dark. "He likes you too," she says.

I feel my heart pound against my ribs. "He does?" I ask, breathlessly. I can feel a victory dance coming on. He likes me! I haven't been this happy since he first talked me at the party.

"Yeah. He's liked you since sixth grade," she asks.

My eyes widen in the darkness. That long? Even with my braces? I feel bad for not noticing him enough back then since I was too busy paying attention to Ricky, who didn't even want anything to do with me.

"That was the reason I invited you here tonight," she says. "I wanted you guys to hook up."

"Well, we almost did," I say, and I tell her about the kiss we almost had in the kitchen.

Faith rolls her eyes when I'm done. "Anthony is the one to ruin moments like that," she says. "Anyway, I also invited you because I like you, Amanda. I think you're a really cool girl."

I grin like I just won a prize or something, but then it quickly falls away. "Do you mean it?" I ask.

"Huh?"

"Do you mean what you said?" I'm looking down at my sleeping bag, clutching it to keep from crying. "Are you just saying that because if you're not nice to me then The Clique will beat you up or something?"

"What are you talking about?" Faith asks, concern and confusion consuming her voice.

"Just say it," I say, a large lump in my throat forming. "I know that I'm rude and obnoxious. I'm a bitch. I'm a loser. Why...why are you guys so nice to me? I'm...I'm nothing." We're silent for a second as I do my best not to cry.

"You're not a bitch, Amanda," Faith finally says. "And you're not a loser. I admit, back in freshmen year, I didn't like you, but Oliver did. He knew you were different from the rest, and I took his word for it. When he told me about you talking to him at the party and the ride home in his car, he was ecstatic. I admit, I was a little unsure of you coming to the movies with us, but when I saw you smiling and talking to Oliver, I knew I would like you because Oliver liked you."

Even in the dark, I see her smile and I feel her take my hand. She catches me off guard as she presses her lips to my cheek and pulls away a second later. "Don't doubt yourself, Amanda," she whispers, and there's a rustling noise before silence settles in the room again.