Dating Diaries of a Single B!tch

Entry 9)How To Get A Guy Who Has A Girlfriend

I know, I know...ALY! What the bloody hell is the matter with you!?! How could you write this as an entry, woman!?!?
Well, I got a message requesting advice on how to get a guy who already has a girlfriend. Please read entire chapter before you judge. ^_^
THE GUIDE ON HOW TO STEAL A GUY WITH A GIRLFRIEND IN THREE EASY STEPS!

1) Make sure you master the art of stalking.
YES! This is the most important rule in making sure you steal a guy who's already taken. Incorporate yourself in his everyday life.  After all, you want to make sure he knows you're more devoted to him than his current lady love. Make sure you're at the gym at the same time he is. Be sure to involve yourself in his everyday  doings such as showing up at work to visit him along with popping up during random visits to a gas station or grocery store. Hell, even make sure you friend all of his friends in real life and on Facebook & Instagram! You want to make sure he sees you everywhere so he knows fully well how devoted you are to wanting to be with him.

2)Transform yourself  into his girlfriend.
This may seem a little odd, but in order to steal your dream guy who's sadly already taken you need to shape yourself into the exact same person he's currently dating. What you should do especially if you're someone with a different hair color, is go to a store that specializes in customary wigs. Or  if you feel confident enough with your own hair color, go to a pricey salon to customize it in the exact same style the girlfriend wears.
After you succeeded in having the same hair as the current girlfriend, make sure to wear the exact same makeup and perfume that she wears as well. You never want to do something without going the full extent!
Now this last part may seem a little strange, but it's entirely necessary. Make sure you gain access to the girlfriends apartment to raid her closet so you can wear her clothes. It doesn't matter if they're too big or too small - if you want your dream guy, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes!

3) Get rid of the girlfriend
........Just kidding! **Slaps your hand that was jotting down notes**
You can't steal someone away from someone else! NO!
That's a big, big, big, NO! 

O_O
Hope you guys had as much fun reading that as I did typing, haha!

Let's return to the land of seriousness. As much as I appreciated someone seeking my advice, that's not what this book was designed to do. Everyday life already has unscrupulous individuals that sometimes deviously plot ways over how to steal a boyfriend or girlfriend from someone. Me? I don't work like that. I'm not the kind of person that would ever tell someone and/or encourage them to steal a guy or girl from someone.
Whether you believe in karma or not, that's just not something you aim to do. What goes around comes around...Now so I'm not just scolding, I'm going to  provide some helpful advice for anyone now annoyed that I wasn't sincerely providing advice on how to steal a boyfriend.

Does it sting when someone you like is already with someone? Yep.
(I'm still depressed seeing the lovely Chris Wood is taken. *Sniffles* )

Instead of plotting how you're going to replace his girlfriend, instead look at what you find appealing over your dream guy or girl. Then, you should look for those qualities in someone else.
Here's the honest truth; if a guy likes YOU, and is into YOU, he wouldn't be dating someone else.  He'd be dating you. If you're part of a love triangle where the guy you're with isn't giving up his girlfriend while you're on the outside looking in, you should come to the realization you're so very special you deserve to have a guy all to yourself that wants you and only you. 

He should be solely dedicated to a relationship with you.
Don't want to listen to me? That's fine...But keep something in mind....Even if you succeed in stealing a guy or girl from someone, don't be naïve enough to feel just because a guy left his girlfriend to be with you, doesn't mean he wont cheat on you just like he cheated on his last girlfriend. Because lovelies, what goes around comes around.
Until next entry....
The (honest) Single B!tch