XO Zero (Epilogue to Call Me Zero)

They keep my DNA down by the record station.

A/N: the final installment. note: at the end, bolded words show what was written in english.

~

It was an unseasonably sunny day, the day Frank Anthony Iero Jr. completed his life's work. Doctor Frank Anthony Iero Jr. for that matter. It was almost like the weather was a metaphor for the moment.

For nearly fifteen years, three-fourths of his totally twenty years spent at the Bureau so far, Frank had spent every moment of every day working on his project. To put it simply, it was a translator. A translator for alien languages.

Frank had pioneered the project himself, working up to the point where he was renowned by every doctor and scientist in the facility. So much so, that he was pretty much in charge of the place by now.

The first policy he put into place was a strict code of solely non-violent interaction between humans and alien races. He had his reasons, and the staff of the facility learned to respect that. Everyone who was anyone knew that Doctor Frank Anthony Iero would not speak about his past to anyone - and unless you had the balls to risk your job, you didn't bring it up.

Frank took a deep breath and exhaled, leaning back in his chair and bringing his hands up to rest behind his head. He took a long look at the machine. Fifteen years of work, and it looked so simple. But Frank knew it was so much more than that.

And it was finally time.

His heart began to pound and he felt himself break into a cold sweat. Running a hand through his long hair (the shaved sides long gone by now, and more strands of gray were appearing every day), Frank rose to his feet and crossed the room to the trunk at the foot of his bed. He kept all of his most precious belongings in there.

All the way at the bottom, Frank found what he was looking for.

A beat up, old, leather bound photo album. An item that hadn't been touched in years, for fear that it would resurface too many memories. Feelings that Frank knew he would loose himself in again, and never be able to come back out.

But now it was finally time.

He undid the strap and opened the book, sitting down on the side of the bed where he could spread everything out in his lap. Mitch was snoozing quietly on the pillow.

The first thing Frank saw was a pile of folded papers. He opened each one so carefully and slowly, it was as if he thought they would disintegrate at any second. Frank's hands were trembling and he felt like he could faint any second.

There were drawings, so many drawings, of himself and a red-haired person he once knew so long ago.

He still knew them now of course, but only in his dreams.

The next papers Frank picked up were full of writing, front and back. Frank felt himself begin to shake harder. His heart was ready to burst out of his chest. The alien writing that looked like nothing but intricate scribbles to him, the words of his long lost love, the love of his life, his partner...

Finally he would be able to read them.

Frank lifted the stack of papers from the book, gripping them so tightly his knuckles were white. His hands were shaking uncontrollably at this point. Underneath them revealed a page full of photos. Several pages in fact. Polaroids. Memories of another time, what seemed like another world, frozen in simple snapshots on little, flimsy squares.

It wasn't until Frank saw their face and the tears began to flow even more that he became aware he had even been crying at all. Of course he was. How could he not be?

Sniffling and wiping his eyes with one hand, still gripping the papers in the other, Frank stepped slowly back over to the machine.

He filed the papers in one at a time, reading the words as they processed onto the screen as if his life depended on it. He clung to every word.

The tears flowed non-stop the entire time. Some moments more than others, and at some points so strongly that Frank had to stop everything to catch his breath and regain his composure.

Despite all of this, he never wanted it to end. He could hear their voice so clearly in his mind. Frank could practically see them talking to him. As if they were with him once again, at long last...

But all things must come to an end. And he had finally reached the last page.

Frank fed it through the machine with a clammy, shaking hand. The words appeared instantly, flooding onto the screen.

I never felt more alone than when I fell.

But what I found after I crashed changed my life even more than Lindsey and Bandit had. It may just be because I can actually remember it all, but who can say.

All I know is, I never felt more alone than when I fell, and I never felt closer to someone than when I was with you.

I know you can't understand these as I'm writing them Frank. I know you can't, because you're watching me right now. I don't know if either of us will remember this by the time you can read it, so I'll remind you. I'm sitting in your lap. We're on the couch together.

We used to sit like this a lot, remember? We still do, but it's not the same. I see the sadness in your eyes every time you look at me. All you see anymore is that scar, what they did to us. I hear you crying sometimes at night, because of the nightmares. I have them too, but I can't bear to wake you up. You have enough to deal with already.

I have to tell you these things, because it's the only thing giving me the strength to leave. I have to go. I don't know where I'm going, I can't go back home, but I can't stay here either. Neither of us are safe this way. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave you Frank. And I know you don't want me to leave either. This is my home. This is all I have. But it seems there's nothing else we can do.

I see when you think about those people, about them finding me again. I don't want them to find me again. I guess this is the only choice we have. I don't know if you remember this either, but we've just finished fixing the ship. The last repair is done and I can leave when ever I like. You told me you wanted me to come inside first. To sit with you one last time. So here we are.

I'm going to hide these papers before I leave. I'll put them somewhere safe where you can find them later, and those men in suits can't take them from you. I won't let them take anything else from you. I have faith that someday you'll be able to read these, but if not, I know you'll at least be able to understand this: I love you. See? I learned to write that the other day while you were working. I learned it just for you.

I used to know how to read and write and speak perfect English, you know. But that was before they took all my memories. That's why it was so hard to talk to you. I forgot everything I had learned on Earth when they took me.

I didn't remember anything when I fell. But I knew I felt at home. And then you found me. I was so afraid of you, of everything really. I didn't know what anything was. But you took care of me. Just like she did. You remind me so much of her Frank. It was you that helped bring the memories back. You gave me a whole new life, you made me so happy, and you brought back the memories of my old life as well - my family. I can't thank you enough.

Everybody's got something to say about your life and choices you've made, but I don't care what they say. I know I made the right choices, and if I had to do it all over again, I would.

As I look back, it seems like it took so long. It took so long just to get back home and now I have to leave again. I need to keep the both of us safe, but don't worry. I'll be back for you Frank. I have a plan. I love you. I love you so much and I will never, ever forget you. I hope you won't forget me either. I know you won't forget me either. Until we meet again Frank. I love you.

xø zerø

~

"From time to time, just think of me and be glad I'm home."

~

A/N: the end.

or is it?