I Love You But I Can't Breathe

Chapter Five

By the time Harry stumbled out of the tent in the morning, everything was packed and in the van except for his tent and the puffy blue sleeping bag that he was still curled up in.

Harry shuffled out of the tent to find their campsite empty, and the three boys sitting on the picnic table.

Louis' eyes lit up when he saw Harry, still wrapped up in his sleeping bag with fluffy morning hair and sleepy green eyes, before they flickered over with worry.

"We're leaving in fifteen, babe," Louis said. "Are you good to go?"

"Um, yeah," Harry said, his voice husky and slow in the mornings. "But aren't we going to go fishing or hiking today?"

Louis' voice lowered a little as he stepped closer to Harry. "Thought it might be best to just get you home, you know?" He rubbed Harry's shoulder gently, his eyes warming with concern for the younger boy.

"I don't want to ruin the day though," Harry insisted, looking back to where Liam had already gotten his tent halfway disassembled.

"It's fine," Louis soothed, smoothing Harry's hair back and kissing him on the forehead. "I'm sure we'll come back soon anyway. We need to book you a doctor's appointment though. You feeling alright today, love?" he asked.

"Yeah," Harry nodded quickly, "Yeah I'm fine. We don't need to leave, Louis, I feel fine. Please can we stay? Just for the morning?"

Louis faltered a little, biting his lip as he tried to make a decision. 

"Lou?" Liam called out as he stuffed the tent into the trunk. "Are we ready to leave?" 

Louis hesitated as Harry gave him a pleading glance.

"Yeah, we're good to go," Louis replied.  

The car ride home was quiet.

Harry could hear the soft click of Liam's turn signals at every intersection, could hear the thoughts pounding through his head that he'd ruined their camping trip with a stupid asthma attack.

"Hey," Louis said softly, reaching out his hand and twining his fingers together with Harry's.

"Hey," Harry whispered, still too embarrassed to look Louis in the eyes.

"No need to be upset, love," Louis murmured, squeezing Harry's hand gently. "We just need to get you home so we can get you one of those inhaler things and you'll be fine, okay?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded, looking out the window as the towns slowly became more familiar. As terrifying as it was to not be able to breathe, it was more painful to know that he was missing out on a day of hiking and fishing and canoeing with his friends. Harry took a steadying breath to test his lungs. They felt fine. "You don't have to be so protective, you know," Harry said, soft enough that he hoped Niall and Liam wouldn't hear from the front seats. 

"Thought you liked protective?" Louis said, eyes trained on the road ahead, even though with Liam driving there was never a reason to check the road for him. 

Harry sighed, squirming a little in his seat. Louis was right- he loved being taken care of (he loved it to an extent that he'd never even been able to admit to Louis)- but he didn't want to see a doctor.

Hospitals had always stressed the younger boy- even regular visits to the doctor. For some reason, Harry was always scared of labeling things... the second it had a name on it, it suddenly became real and he wasn't able to hide from it anymore. Even simple things like sore throats, Harry would wait out for much too long- trying every home remedy and over the counter cold medicine until his mum dragged him out to the family doctor.