Just Forget The World//Phan au

Chapter 2 : The London Doubt

~Btw, I know this is set in 2015 as if Phil and Dan didn't meet back in October of 2009 but I want to give all of you feels so I put the twitter picture above so if you are having phan attacks don't read this phanfic cos you will probably be dead by the time you finish it~

Dan's POV:

Trains. I didn't like them.

1. Being cramped in a compacted space is and will always be one of my worst nightmares (how the hell do you think I survived the 30 minute taxi ride to the station)

2. People. Just people in general. So, if you were 30 cm away from me, don't move any closer. If I can feel your breath on my neck then that's a big problem. But, hey, I guess that's me overreacting and being Drama Daniel as usual.

3. And what about the metal venus fly traps of death, I honestly once got my head stuck in between those. Pfft, if it is listed that I died from 'death from a train door', I fear for everyone's lives.

Somehow I got through the full 1 hour journey to London Piccadilly Station. Fantasies of seeing Phil walking up to see me flashed through my head. Seeing him and those beaming blue pools of joy that were his eyes and his feathered raven hair, god, I just had to stop thinking about him for a moment so I could get back to reality and not fall crazy in love with the dream world. I felt the movement of the train shift as we slowed down. The entire train acted as if we had had drills of the dreaded 'stop off'. Mothers held onto their babies pushchairs, depressed teens clutched their iphones and grumpy middle aged businessman gripped tightly to the handles of their overly-expensive suitcases. The train slowed down which bought the awkward shuffling of being pushed backwards and then followed by the train jolting to a stop and 6 or 7 people being thrown forward.

'Doors opening' said the monotone female intercom from overheard. I got up and walked to the doors before looking over my shoulder and saying a silent farewell to Wokingham. Yes, the train wasn't Wokingham (I knew that). Yes, Wokingham was 40 miles away but there was nothing wrong with saying a mental goodbye to the thing that brought you to your future and then the thing that was gonna leave you. God's way of saying 'Here's your new life and goodbye, have fun, it's your fault if you f**k it up.'

I hopped off the train only to be greeted by a cold underground breeze.

'Petrol and sewage...smells great'

There was nothing wrong and there I was complaining again. I guess my sarcasm was another one of my faults that I was going to have to fix. One that I hoped Phil could live with.

My tall, towering body structure made it easy to see over everyone. I refused to stand up on my tip-toes; fearing I'd wreck my spiked Christian Louboutin sneakers.

'I couldn't of picked a worse day to wear these. I wasn't thinking this morning when I left the house. I was thinking about Holly. What the hell! Stop thinking about her, you idiot!'

Doubt really seemed to be the only crowd around me. With doubt, I always wanted to find little hope. So if doubt was the crowd then where was my little hope? Where was my Phil.

I took one look around. I didn't properly get to glance around as the moving trains had caught my eye. I looked to the right to see the end of my train, the train that brought me here, disappear into the tunnel's darkness.

'That's the end of it,' I thought 'This is where it all starts.'

At the same time, my brain was asking me 'What starts?' and even with the rough London doubt, I tried to find enough air to process the word 'Everything'

Suddenly I felt two small taps on my shoulder. My body tensed as I prepared myself mentally to meet Phil. I turned around slowly, squinting almost just so I wouldn't get blinded by his rich joy and love. He was the sun from the teletubbies, let's face it.

"Hi, I'm Alison."

My blood went from liquid to ice. I stared at Alison, my expression blank. She was beautiful. Blond haired, blue eyed. She'd make gay guys question their sexuality, she obviously looked like the it girl from high school. Either that or her story was cliché and she was the ugly one that came back after summer and look hot af.

'-And I guess your Phil's girl-'

"I'm Phil's girlfriend, by the way, sorry. I forgot he hadn't told you. Sorry, it's weird." She tried to laugh of the awkwardness.

"Oh, so he told Twitter before telling me?"

She continued laughing then to only direct herself away from my question.

"Phil couldn't come pick you up. My flight leaves in 4 hours and I have to be at the airport in 2 but I know you and Phil are close and I haven't gotten a chance to talk to you and..." My expression was blank and I noticed her slow down as she got to the end of her sentence because she realised that I didn't care. I would've cared or put in energy to make it seem like I did (something I'm very good at) but seeing my best friends girlfriend first instead of him almost defeated the purpose of my brain that had been building itself up emotionally ever since Phil asked me to move in with him. Personally, I wanted this emotion to be released through hugs and video games and not some awkward chit-chat with some girl I had just met. A girl that I didn't know existed. A girl who was the apparent girlfriend of Phil. And I being the apparent best friend who got told this surprising news, second. Heck! I wasn't even told. I found out. Why it was hurting me this much, I don't know. Why I was so angered by a simple girlfriend of a simple best friend, I don't know. Jealousy? I don't get jealous. Dan Howell doesn't get jealous. Hurt easily...yeah, I guess.

"...urm, well, I have the car parked out side", She pointed up when referring to her car. It made me realise that we were still in The Underground and doubt still rushing past us. "Let's go, he told me to be quick so he obviously is excited to see you."

"Oh, okay." I said nonchalantly.

Again, I didn't know why I was so bothered. My feeling were a mess. Whenever I saw Phil on Skype, I always got so happy. My heart would skip a beat or two. He made me happy. He made me feel loved and liked. It was the reason why I loved him...no, cared about. Yeah, love didn't come into it.