Catch Me » Catch Part 1

[ 22 ] Fault

Eddward's breath stopped yet again when they entered emergency. He and Tyler climbed out of the ambulance, Kevin being wheeled out of his own moment before them. Nurses and Doctors rushed around him, saying things Eddward couldn't quite make out. He couldn't really think straight, as he watched it all go on. He looked down at himself, but all he could see was red. The blood was all too much for him. It was on his hands and under his nails in his nose and it was all too much.

Tyler climbed out after him, clasped his hand on the smaller boy's shoulder. He turned him away from Kevin, tilting his head up to look him in the eye, "Eddward? Just take a breath for me, yeah?"

Eddward nodded numbly, eyes too blank for the dirty blond's liking. Tyler kept his hand where it was and guided him further into the emergency room. There were people shouting and running around, and Kevin quickly disappeared into another room behind two swinging doors. Tyler pulled him into a seat and they waited. Eddward still couldn't breathe.

As soon as she arrived, following the ambulances as best she could, Nazz ran into the emergency room. She swivelling her head around in search for them. When her eyes feel upon the back of Eddward's bowed head, she took the seat next to him, taking his hand into hers and squeezing it, ignoring the dry blood that stained his skin. He didn't look up at her. He didn't speak. He didn't even move. He couldn't breathe. It was all just too much.

My fault.

"Shh, Double Dee. It's okay," Nazz hushed into his ears. He hasn't noticed the way his breath picked up the more he thought. He hadn't even noticed the way his eyes were clouded just a fraction with tears.

A nurse came in. "I believe you three were with the boy?" She looked down at her papers. "Barr?"

"Yeah," Tyler answered her.

"Okay." She looked over them. "You two come with me." She motioned to Tyler and Eddward. "I'll call you through when I'm done, okay?" she smiled at Nazz.

Eddward hobbled along after Tyler, his crutches long forgotten in all the panic. He didn't even notice the way his leg stung as he took each step.

Things were eerily quiet as the three of them waited for Kevin to wake. It had been a day already. His mother had come and gone, called to work despite her distress, but they understood. Tyler received a broken nose and a concussion. Eddward had a concussion too, and a square of gauze taped to his jaw over two stitches. Kevin lay there, silent and still except his heavily bandaged chest and stomach rising and falling as he breathed.

Time passed slowly.

And with slow time, came fast thoughts.

My fault. All my fault.

"This is my fault," Eddward murmured.

"What?" Nazz asked. She squinted at him from the other side if the room.

"Lucas was right. This is all my fault," he stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Edd that's bullshit," Tyler said, a little louder than needed.

"No. If I hadn't been so-so pathetic, and if I had handled this myself and not let you all interfere with me, than Kevin wouldn't-he wouldn't be-he wouldn't be here. He'd be at home and he'd be fine. This is-is my fault," Eddward's words started to fall apart as he became more anxious and frantic. His skin was itching.

"Eddward," Nazz moved next to him, trying to wrap him in a hug, to hold back his thoughts that she knew weren't true. "Edd this isn't you fau-"

"Yes it is, Nazz," Eddward cut in, his voice rising as he dodged her arms. "Lucas is right. I'm a waste of space.Just a leech that takes everyone else down. I just-I just...I'd be-"

"Edd, please don't say that," Nazz pleaded, walking after him as he moved around the room, hands tugging at his hair.

"-better off dead," he finished, stopping as he looked out the window blankly.

Nazz's face crumpled, "No, Eddward. That's not true."

"Edd. Don't do this to yourself," Tyler said, walking over to him. "This isn't your fault."

"No Tyler. This is all on me. I just-I have to go. I have to get out of here," he hobbled towards the door.

"Edd no, don't go. Please," Nazz pleaded, moving after him.

"Nazz please. I want to be alone."

"Edd don't do this. Stay with us. Stay with Kevin. Please," Tyler walked over, standing between the crumbling boy and the exit.

"Tyler," Eddward looked up into his eyes, his own looking cold, "Let me pass. I want to leave. I can't stand here with you two when you've helped me so much and all I've done in return in land Kevin in hospital. I need to leave."

"Edward, please," Nazz pressed, frantic.

"Stop it!" Eddward nearly yelled. "Stop trying to comfort me and make me feel better! I did this! I did that!" He threw his hands at Kevin. "You're both so nice and caring but I don't deserve it." He took a deep breath, like he was running out of oxygen. "I just need to be alone," he pleaded.

Nazz and Tyler were silent for a moment, watching the way Edward tugged at his hair and huffed out each breath.

"I just need to be alone," he repeated, quieter this time, desperate. "If you care for me, please just let me go."

Tyler stood in the doorway for almost a minute, then moved aside, knowing there was nothing he could do. The boy in front of him looked broken, and he and the blonde were both sure that if they even tried to hold him, had fall apart all together.

"I'm sorry for the trouble I have caused you both," Eddward said, and then left.

Tyler sat down next to Nazz. "Will he be okay?"

"I-I don't know," she whispered, wiping her eyes. Tyler walked over to her and stood against the wall. A moment passed, and she moved her hand over her mouth, in an attempt to stifle a sob. Her body hunched, and Tyler's hand moved to her shoulder.

He looking at the ceiling. "We'll go see him tonight. In a couple hours."

"Yeah," Nazz whispered. Tyler barely heard her.

He swallowed down his own tears, and hoped that everything would be okay.

Warning for the next chapter involving self harm. Stay safe.