Inbetween the lines(larry stylinson)

The Letter

We come into the world as someone with a life ahead of us, with an endless roller coaster of ups and downs and twists and turns. Except every other turn leads to a series of different roads laid in front of us of choices and decisions that we make, that define who we are today. We all have goals big or small that we want to accomplish in life. One of which includes finding the person you want to achieve new goals with in the future. Finding that one person you fall in love with. The person that makes you want to show the world how much you love them. Show the world that, that wonderful person is yours and only yours.

But what if, you cant do that?

What if you've found that one person, but you cant love them?

You cant achieve new goals with them?

You cant show the world you love them?

Because you're not allowed to.

Because it is wrong.

What are you suppose to do now?

I could keep asking questions of this topic, the list would go on forever.

You cant ever change what kind of road is set for you. so why am i expected to do so?

I was taught that love is love no matter what. And you are entitled to love whomever.

Am i the only exception to this rule, that leads to happiness in life?

Am i the problem?

They all tell me its not right, that i cannot love of the same sex.

Then If loving him is wrong, then i don't want to be right.

But hypocritically, i have been doing what is "right" for the past two years.

I am closeting the love i have for him, along with myself in a un-openable door and slowly being shut out of any connection to him and the world outside. And i let it happen. And it hurts. But what hurts most is seeing the one i love with someone else, even though i know that the love set between them is not true.

My whole life now plays on a set of a not-so reality show with a given script that is expected to follow. I am nothing but an empty shell with strings attached to every joint, that control every other move i make, especially the ones the media see.

I am nothing but a simple puppet, easily controlled by the mastered movements of my puppeteer.

And I'm just drifting by the days only comforted by the delicate memories of the past. That can only be recollected in the silence of the night.

So this is the short little story, that no one gets to see, that everyone doubts, and nobody understands, put in words on paper, as a last statement on my behalf.

When i first met him, i didn't realize that he would play such an important role in my life.

I properly met him in a restroom prior to being set in a group with him in a show called the Xfactor. He looked familiar. Looking at him brought me back to a time where i was at a Script concert months ago. It then hit me that i had seen him there. he had been the one i had exchanged flirtatious looks with. the one i hoped to catch after the show but never did. I was beginning to think it was faith, but i shrugged off the extremely cheesy thought. Back in the restroom, we exchanged a few words, and i felt a sort of connection with him. It was when i was put in a group with him that had me convinced of the possibilities that it was faith. I remember it like it was yesterday. The feeling i got of looking to my side and finding a beautiful pair of blue eyes staring back at me. the realization soon struck me that the owner of those eyes was in a band with me, and before i knew it i was in his arms spinning around, holding on as tight as i could. The following weeks were full of the best memories i will carry with me.