I Didn't Mean for This to Happen

The Reason

James POV

It's been a week. One week since it happened. Nothing has gotten better. Nothing. I don't know what to do with myself. I just sit in that chair and watch her, waiting for some kind of movement.

The If/Then family came in. They stayed for who knows how long. Those were the overly emotional days. She's had friends and family come in to see her.  It's the same thing every time though. Someone comes in, I give them a hug, and they sit down and say something to Idina. The one thing they say to me, that I hate, is "I'm sorry." Why? Why are they sorry? She's still alive. She's breathing. I didn't lose anyone. I don't want to lose her. I don't know what I would do if I did.

-

Later on Doctor Palmer walked in. He was looking at me different. He'd always looked calm. Now he was looking at me with sympathy.

"I have some news for you." He said.

My mind immediately went to "she's going to wake up"

"What is it?" I asked.

He was trying to avoid eye contact with me.

"Tell me what's going on." I demanded.

"I think you should sit down." He lead me to the two chairs at the end of the room and we sat down.

"I have some news on the crash." He said looking away.

"Were you ever informed on how the accident happened?" He asked.

"I-I don't think so. All I was told was that two cars crashed into hers...and that she went through a red light."

He sighed and said. "The police found her cellphone in the car. It had a text on it that was sent right before the crash...they've informed us that the text was the reason she went through the red light. She must have been looking at her phone and not paying attention..."

I lost the words he was saying. It was like I was going deaf. He kept saying them, but I wasn't hearing them. I was the reason she was in the accident. I'm the reason she's fighting for her life. I'm- I'm the reason she might not wake up.