I Didn't Mean for This to Happen

Giving In

James POV

I stormed into the apartment. I was so frustrated. Why wasn't she talking to me? I know she's going through hell right now, but she can't just push me away. I won't let it happen.

-

I was sitting on the couch watching a show and I heard the door creak open. It was dark out and it must have been an hour since I came up from the car. I had gotten worried about her, but I didn't want to go down there to get her. It would have seemed like I gave in.

I didn't bother turning around, but I heard feet on the hardwood floor, walking towards the couch.

She sat down in the lounge chair and curled up in a ball. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her watching the show, but occasionally moving her eyes towards me.

Why did it have to be so awkward? Oh, right because she doesn't remember anything. I had been ok for the first couple days, but now it's just getting to a point where I don't know how much longer I can do this. I want the old Idina back. The one that remembered me. The one that loved me. Who let me comfort her when she knew she was a mess.

This one would not let me in. She keeps all her thoughts from me. I cant remember the last time we had a real conversation.

The show had ended and I turned the T.V off. We sat there. No one said anything until she got up and came to sit next to me.

"Well, that's new." I said, turning towards her.

She brought her hand up to my cheek and looked into my eyes. I could see she was hurting. I wanted her to let me in so badly.

"Please tell me what you're thinking. It's killing me. I hate to see you in so much pain."

She sat back and moved away from me.

"I-I just miss Walker...so much."

She started sobbing and had her head in her hands. I couldn't see her like this. It broke my heart.

"Dee..."

I pulled her over to me and let her fall into my chest. I felt her breath on my neck and every sob had a small jump to it.

"It's ok. We're getting him back. You'll see him soon. Just think about the day that you'll get to see him. Don't think about other things that could happen. Just imagine that day."

I pressed her head into my chest and kissed the top of her head. Her sobs had faded and her breathing was steady now. I closed my eyes and tried to push away all of my thoughts.

The next time I opened my eyes, the sun was peaking in through the blinds.