Keep it Low

Betrayal of Trust

      The way I see it, everyone needs a routine to keep them sane. Some people read every book they can to keep an order in their lives. Some people dance their heart out. Some people surround themselves with other people, trying to run away from their insecurities for a while. I am the exact opposite. My routine is this: I go to school, I don't say a word, I go home, I speak as little as possible, and the day ends with me barely using my vocal chords. I can't imagine life any other way.

     I used the live differently, however. I was always kind of shy, but not like how I am now. Like everything, there was a breaking point, something that pushed me over the edge.

      That breaking point was Cory.

     Cory and I had been childhood friends since forever. Our families were best friends and I don't ever remember a barbecue, a party, or any sort of event without the Andersons', Cory's family. We always had each others backs through school. Cory, being the Greek god he was, always was attractive and girls threw themselves on him for years. He always came to me for advice about what to do. Our relationship worked out pretty well, until the summer before 8th grade.

     I remember it like it was yesterday, the day I realized I had also fallen for Cory Anderson. We were swinging on the park swings after a day of swimming at the pool and having a water gun war, when two girls walked by. They were around our age, and undeniably pretty. They walked past us and were wide-eying Cory, which wasn't unusual. Girls couldn't tear their eyes off of him wherever he went. What was unusual was the pang of jealousy that I felt as they caught his eye.
     It's just because we are best friends and I don't want any random girls hitting on him, I thought to myself. But then I realized the jealousy went far deeper, and I genuinely cared for Cory.
       Oh, no, was the only thing I could think.
     So the next week, when Cory asked me about how to get Morgan Akridge to like him, I shouldn't have cared. I usually happily give him girl advice. But this time was different.
     "And why do you think I want to answer that question, Cory?" I snapped. Cory was taken aback.
     "Well, you help me with my relationship problems all the time other than this, so I assumed this would be no different. Why are you mad?" He responded. I was so embarrassed, I could hardly answer,
     "Sorry, I don't know why that made me mad. Here's what you should do..." And I proceeded to tell him exactly what to do. Later, I realized I needed to sabotage Cory's relationship with every other girl to get him to like me. Or at least, that's what I assumed.
      Summer went on, and Cory told me more and more how much he liked Morgan. I tried to bear through it. One day, he said something I still wish he had never, ever said.
     "I just don't want to ask her if she likes me, because I don't want to come on too strong, you know?"
        "I know...I could ask her for you" I said in reply. His face lit up.
     "Really? You'd do that for me?" I grinned and said, "Of course, silly. That's what best friends do!"
     Later, I knew how to turn Cory's attention to me, instead of Morgan.
    
      4 weeks before school started up again, I saw Morgan at target. We had been roughly friends, and so we both said hi to each other.
      "Oh, by the way, I was wondering what you think of Cory? Cory Anderson?" I said
     "He seems pretty cute and nice, but I know you guys are kind of a thing so I wouldn't take him from you" she replied. I was so surprised at her kindness, I almost didn't want to do what I did next. But if I wanted Cory's attention on me, I needed to do it.
     "Well, he's kind of creepily obsessed with you and it's super weird, so I would just avoid him," I stated. She looked scared and disgusted.
     "Ew, creepy. Are you sure he doesn't like you? Because you two are always together. I definitely do NOT like him, don't worry." I bit my lip and said,
     "Yeah, he is weird. And we are just friends."
     "Well, I thought he was okay up until now, now I think he is just annoying," Morgan said, more to herself than to me. Well, my plan had worked. She definitely didn't like Cory now. I would just go back and tell him what she said (excluding what I said) and would comfort him when he was sad. Hopefully he would start to notice me.
     But unfortunately, that was not the case. He marched right up to Morgan when we next saw her at the soccer fields, and asked her why she called him disgusting and creepy. She said,
     "It's because Alexis told me you were creepily obsessed with me, and so I was scared, OK?" I felt fear kicking in. Cory turned to me slowly, disappointment in his eyes.
     "Lex, is this true?" he questioned. I couldn't lie to him when he called me lex. It's always been my weakness.
     "Yes," I whispered, barely audible enough to hear. He walked away with his head down and Morgan gave me a puzzled look, but all I could remember was the disappointed in his eyes when he found out how I betrayed him. He trusted me to help him, and I failed. I'm sure he would realize I did it out of feelings for him, but something tells me he wouldn't run into my arms like I imagined.
       After an excruciating week had passed, my mom soberly announced at the dinner table that the Andersons had moved away, without saying goodbye to us. My cute mother was heartbroken over the loss of our dear neighbor and friends. Although they never told us, I was sure Cory couldn't stand to see me anymore.

     That was when I decided to never get involved again.