Meraki

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I dont even know who I am anymore. I feel myself slipping from my friends and family....I dont think I feel any emotion other than hurt and self disappointment.

People tell me that they love me but I dont even know what love is.

It is so akward for me to say"I love you too" because I know I probably don't love you.

You say you are proud of me but in order for thay statement to work on me, I have to be proud if me and frankly, I am not.

Good is never enough.

I think i've cried a river.

Everything is just a routine.

Wake up, go to school, do homework 5 hours later, and get 4 hours of sleep. Then wake up with a headache.

Over and over and over again.

Nothing's the different, everything is the same.

Robotic.

Calculated.

Unemotional.

My mind is like a void and I see no happiness anymore.

I want to get closer to God but I dont know how to even start.

I have no supporters.

I envy the people who's parents cheer them on.

I am my own cheerleader.

If it's not convenient for you, you won't be present.

Nothing I want to do is convenient to you.

I am my own partner.

The glory I once had is faded.

I am a robot, no feelings found here.

It is sad because I once was a carefree person three years ago.

Now I cant even do anything that makes me happy.

Distractions are everywhere.

Surrounded by people who I know won't be there for me.

You only like me because of what I can do for you and how I make you feel...

I hope I can come out this void I call my mind...