Why My Celery Is Better Than Your Celery
A moving piece by Aylei
My celery
Is better than your celery
Because it's green.
You may be thinking,
All celery is green.
But you're wrong.
WRONG.
Your celery
Has little brown spots on it
So it's not green.
Because it's dying.
Rinse burn with cool water and apply aloe vera.
My celery
Is crunchier than your celery
Because your celery not only has brown spots
But it's squishy.
And squishy celery is yucky.
My celery
Is better than your celery
Because my celery has none of those nasty leaves
That taste nasty.
Because they taste nasty.
They're all bitter
And sour
But your celery does have leaves.
So it's yucky.
And because your celery is brown-speckled and squishy,
So are your leaves.
And that's yucky.
My celery
Is better than your celery
Because I got my celery from Dan the Celery Man.
Dan the Celery man lives down my street.
Dan grows celery in his backyard.
You got your celery from Target.
And you picked the ones up front.
The ones up front are always older.
And then you let it sit on your kitchen table for two days.
Because you're a horrible celery caretaker.
But now,
As a result,
My celery is better.
Lastly,
My celery
Is SO MUCH BETTER than your celery,
Because it's moist.
YOU ARE READING
Shindiggitydoo
RandomThis thing will pretty much have everything under the sun. Poetry, rants, stories, parodies, you name it. And you should name it. If you want to request something, just comment or PM me. ~Aylei
