Burning Paradise

Chapter Fifteen

There's a scratching sound at my window. I go over and open it cautiously, in case it's Elijah with another surprise message. Rhys jumps in, leaves tangled in his hair. He shakes his head to free the leaves and then looks at me apologetically, "I'm --"

"Rhys, forget it." I blurt, "I have something to say."

"Go on." Rhys says, leaning against the wall.

I take a deep breath, bracing myself for the pending argument, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Rhys stands up straight, his expression one of shell-shock, "What did you say?"

"The reincarnation -- Eliza's reincarnation... Why didn't you tell me?" I demand, hot tears running down my cheeks.

Rhys looks at me, his face unreadable, "How do you know?"

"Elijah was here." I mutter.

Rhys looks outraged and turns toward the window but I grab his wrist, "Oh no, Rhys. You're not leaving until I've had it out with you. How could you not tell me? That I'm not me, I'm not who I thought I was, I'm actually a one century old girl?"

"You are you. You are Donna." Rhys holds my face in his palms, "You are yourself, you're not anybody else. The only difference is that you have some of Eliza's memories, a part of her soul."

"I don't want them, I don't want her!" I hiss spitefully, "I want to be me! I want to be fully Donna! I want to be normal!"

Rhys snorts, "Your boyfriend is a fallen angel. You're not a normal girl, I think we've already established that."

I put my hands over my ears, "This isn't a joke, Rhys! This is serious. You hid it from me, you hid the fact that I have the spirit of your ex girlfriend in me!"

"Look at me, look straight at me." Rhys attempts to comfort me desperately.

It doesn't work.

"No." I am trembling with shock and betrayal, "That's why you're with me. The only reason you're with me. Because I have imprints of her in me. Rhys, you love Eliza, not me. You only stayed so long because of her."

"No." Rhys frowns, "I love you. You're the only reason I live, Donna."

"Did you say that to her, too? I ask, going past hysteria and dashing through the stages of paranoia, "Did you tell her that, Rhys? Did you tell her you loved her? That you'd never leave her? That you'd never let anyone hurt her? Did you?"

"Please be quiet, Donna." Rhys pushes my hair back but I shove his hands away.

"Do you only touch me when you think there's a bit of Eliza in me? You've never really loved me at all, have you?"

Rhys doesn't reply. He just crushes my lips with his to silence me. It seems like eternity has passed before he pulls back, letting me breathe. I say nothing, I just stare at him silently. The tears have stopped, there is just emptiness now. The emptiness that fills the space where we were agruing just a minute ago.

"Don't ever say that again." Rhys strokes my cheek, "I love you, Donna, because you are you. Not because somebody said that you've the soul of someone who's not even alive any more."

"You never told me. What was I supposed to think?" I ask, willing the prickly tears to stay in your ducts and not make me look even more of a cry-baby in front of Rhys than I already have.

"You weren't supposed to know. I didn't want you to know because... I thought you might freak out and run away. I didn't want to let you go. I'm not ready to lose you."

"Rhys..." I take a step closer to him, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, "You've told me you're a fallen angel which is definitely the biggest secret of your existence. It is your existence. I never ran away then. What made you think that I would run away after you told me about Eliza? So I have a one century old soul in me..." I laugh hysterically, "I can deal with it... but only if you're with me."