Just Like A Strip Club Bedroom Scene (PTV)

I'm Not Okay...

{Desirae}

Everything is dark. Where am I? It smells like cleaner and medicine. I can hear beeping and sobbing. Wait. Am I in a hospital?! My head hurts and my body aches, I can't open my eyes either. What happened?

{Devin}

It's been two weeks. Two weeks and Desirae still hasn't woken up. She is so pale and fragile looking. They've been feeding her through tubes and she is hooked up to life support. She needs an oxygen mask to breathe and her pulse is barely there.

I haven't left the hospital, neither has Kellin, we've been here the whole two weeks. We hold each other and sob, that's it. I can't remember the last time either of us ate anything. Kellin and I are both really skinny now, we have bags under our eyes, which are red from crying. We just look like a mess.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the heart monitor slowing down. No. I jumped up from Kellin's lap, awakening him from his half-dead state. Running over to the bedside, I grabbed Desirae's cold hand and started hyperventilating. Beep...... Beep........... Beep................ Beeeeeep.

I screamed and ran into the hallway. "Help! Help! Somebody! Please! Get me a doctor! Somebody, please. Nurse! Nurse!" I yelled, cupping my hands around my mouth. Nurses swarmed over, a couple doctors tagging along.

They pushed me out of the way and crowded her bed. I heard machines, doctors talking, giving out orders, and nurses rushing around. Kellin was dragged out of the room then nurses came towards me. I started hyperventilating again as they got closer.

Two nurses grabbed my arms and I started thrashing around, kicking my legs out. I started screaming and trying to tear away from their grip but they had other nurses come help drag me out. "NO! Let. Me. Go. Get off of me. NO! Get the fuck off me. Don't fucking touch me. I need to be with her." I screamed at them.

They threw me out into the hallway. "Desirae. No." I sobbed, sliding down the wall. I pulled my knees up to my chest, laying my head on them then wrapping my arms around my legs and sobbing.

Kellin sat in front of me with his legs crossed and pulled me into his lap, cradling me in his arms. I slinked my arms around his torso and cried into his chest while he gently stroked my hair.

A doctor came out with a clipboard and stood in front of us. He pushed his glasses up on his nose before flipping through several sheets of paper on his brown clipboard. "Well, it seems your friend Desirae is no longer with us. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. That's all." He said with no emotion and a blank expression on his face then walked away.

I felt something die inside of me. I felt empty. Like a part of me is missing, gone. I felt my stomach turn and I took a deep breath. I stood up and walked into her room.

I found my way to her bedside and moved her bangs out of her face with my hand. My fingers trailed down her pale face and down her arm to her hand. Gripping it tightly, I squeezed my eyes closed as tears threatened to spill. I couldn't hold them back anymore and they spilled out. Tears poured down my cheeks as my sobs echoed off the dull gray walls. She's really gone.

Someone knocked on the door but I just ignored it, the tears still spilling uncontrollably. Sobs racked my chest and made it hard to breathe but I honestly didn't really care at the moment. The door opened and Kellin rushed over to me, cradling me in his arms. "Devin. Look at me." He said with a serious tone to his voice.

I looked up at him, his eyes were glassy and bloodshot, tears brimming them. His lips were chapped and cracked. His hair messy and tangled. His breathes were strained and he struggled with keeping them even. His body and limbs are shaky, his voice is rapsy.