Out of Time [Brian Jones]

I Can't Be Satisfied

*
Woman I'm trouble
Trouble and all worried mind
Well, I just can't be satisfied
Just can't keep on crying  
*

We or rather I stayed in the same position for quite some time. I really didn't want to wake him up, but it was getting late and he probably preferred sleeping in his bed than on his couch, especially if he really was going to be sick... Still I felt bad about just waking him up, but what other choices did I have? I could hardly put him into his bed. Blimey I could hardly go to the toilet alone.

"Brian." I said and started to shake him. He groaned, clearly not wanting to wake up. "You should sleep in your bed." He mumbled something I didn't really understand and strengthened his hold on me. I sighed and tried again. "Brian!" This time his eyes did open, but he didn't really look awake. "You should go to your bed." I said and shook him so more. Finally there was some reaction from his part.

He groaned again. "You should have just let me sleep..."

"You're getting sick and need the bed and I need to pee and you're holding me way too tight. Let go." He mumbled something, but let me go. I exhaled and got up. I really felt better, if it stayed like this I'll probably be up and running by tomorrow, which was a good thing I needed to return to work on Monday. I never missed a day and I wouldn't start it now.

When I returned from the bathroom, the living room was empty. I guessed that Brian had indeed move on to his bedroom and made my way over there, but not before I had grabbed the things Keith had gotten me. If I showered I might feel better and could put some of my own clothes on. I started to feel awkward, asking Brian if I could use his shower gave me some really unwanted memories. I took a deep breath. Nothing had happened, he had just helped me, and there was nothing to be ashamed of. I probably wasn't the first girl he had with him under the shower, but the first because she couldn't stand upright. It hadn't been my choice, but a necessity.

Brian was indeed in his bedroom. He had undressed and was about to head to bed, when I entered. He motioned me to join him and I wondered if he didn't have a guest bedroom or something. "Could I maybe take a shower?"

He smirked "Why do you ask? Want me to join you again?"

I shook my head. "No I was just being polite. It's your house."

He shrugged. "Do what you want." I sighed and was just about to leave, when he started talking again. "When did Keith show up? I must have slept through it..."

"Sometime before you woke up."

"Ok 'til then have fun."

Before I left I stopped in the doorframe. I really didn't want to share a bed with him again. I think I had enough human touch for a whole week. "Don't you have a guest bedroom or something?"

He shrugged. "Yes, but I don't like sleeping on my own."

"And I don't like being touched..."

"But you need to get used to this." I frowned. I didn't really see a reason why I needed to. I lived long enough without it. "Well I like to keep you around, so you should get used to me."

I sighed. "I have no problem to help you out, but I'm not staying here forever. I have a life too. I need to work, earn money and other things. Even if I own you my life, I can't just throw everything away..."He seemed to think about this for a moment and didn't reply. "It's late and I really want to shower now. Can't we talk tomorrow about this?" He nodded and I went to have a shower.

The water felt good on my aching body and the shower gave me some time to think it all over without Brian on my case. I took a deep breath and recapped the last 24 hours. I had drunk way too much and had a slight nervous breakdown, which ended in me having an accident. Brian saved me and took me home. We then talked and somehow I ended up telling him the truth and accepting to help him. We still had not really talked about how we were going to do this and I had not the slightest idea how I was supposed to help him for real. He probably needed rather a therapy than me, but I guess he was tired of people telling him he was insane. I sighed. My life never could be easy, could it? At least one thing he had gotten right, I needed to spend time with him if I wanted to help him, but that seemed easier said than done. I had no idea what was in the Stones schedule, beside the upcoming show with the Who, Keith had mentioned, but I guess they were rather busy and I needed to work too. Furthermore our time was short, if something went wrong Brian had less than 9 months left... and I doubted that it was enough to tell him he could change his life around only if he tried, but what would be enough? And why did I even care so much? I mean he is not the first person I met who was going to die, but the first I really wanted to help. I owned him yes, but that couldn't be all. Well it was nice to know my gift could be useful and give somebody hope instead of just more stress for me. Maybe that was it? If I helped him, I might feel better about myself too? That sounded at least a lot more plausible. Whatever the reason, it was the right thing to do.