Lost in Darkness

Chapter 1-The Beach

-------> the picture on the side is what Raven looks like, just because I don't really describe her :) If you can't get the picture, she has coffee coloured brown hair and sapphire eyes. She's pale, slim and curvy. Overall, very pretty :) 

Please don't forget to vote!

The picture in the cover belongs to the amazing Laura Zalenga. Check out this link to her page! http://www.flickr.com/photos/laurazalenga/2892443740 :) 

Anyways, happy reading!

P.S-I know that a lot of you don't like the spacing this way, but I prefer this spacing, so...ya know. I'm not changing it again. 

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Chapter 1
 

"Cole, that was too damn close!" I yelled, my hands fisting. 
"Look, it wasn't that bad! It-" Cole began, running a hand through his dark hair, eyes wide. 
"They could have killed you!" I interrupted, enraged beyond reason that this didn't even seem to bother him.
"But they didn't," he said calmly. "Look, Raven, you're over-reacting!"
I was silent for a moment. "Over reacting?" I asked quietly. I saw panic flash in his stormy eyes before it was quickly masked. "Over reacting?" I repeated, my voice growing louder.

 We were yelling at each other in the middle of the street. I didn't care that most people had stopped to gawk at us, at the blood staining our clothes. All I cared about was the anger pulsing through me, an anger that would not be ignored or calmed.

 Cole reached out a soothing hand to me but I jerked back, not in the mood to be placated.
"Just...stay away from me," I gritted out, trying to ignore the guilt I felt at seeing his eyes flash with hurt.
"Raven, for God's sake, just-"
"I'm going to go for a walk. If you follow me, I'll kill you myself. That's a promise."

 With that, I stormed off, not really knowing or caring where I ended up, so long as it was away from him. He shouted after me to be careful but otherwise left me alone. With each step I took, my anger lessened, until it was almost non-existant. When all my rage had drained away, there was nothing left but an empty shell, haunted by memories of the past.

It was at times like this, where the aching numbness attacked my entire being, that it became hard to find the strength to continue like everything was fine. Because it wasn't. Nothing was fine. Nothing was normal. This...this curse that my family endured... It ruined everything. Every time I found some semblance of peace, of normality, it would rear its ugly head and wreck everything.

 As I ran off, deliberately bumping into the on-lookers I found particularly obnoxious, I couldn't help the question that ran through my head. 
'Why me?'

 
***  

I stared out into the sparkling waters, watching as the waves crashed onto the shore, only to retreat back again, an endless cycle. So many memories that only the waves knew. Secrets that were whispered on the wind, but secrets that only I knew how to hear. A constant reminder. A reminder of what once was. A reminder of what can never be.

 The sun beat down, just as it always did. The sand was soft beneath my bare feet, molding to my curves as I sat there in lonely solitude, while the rest of the world went on. There I sat, in my own little time bubble, oblivious to everything else.

 The sky was as blue as the ocean before me, the deepness of the colour astounding. There was not a white cloud in sight. All was silent around me, apart from the sound of water, gently moving along the surface of the sand. I got up and padded over to it. The water was cool against my bare skin, encasing my feet in their calming presence, though it did nothing against the turmoil within me.

 Closing my eyes, I breathed in deeply, tilting my head to the sky. I could taste the salt on my tongue. The air was fresh, crisp. It smelt right. The deception angered me. This beach had caused me so much pain, and yet my senses reeled from it, wondering at its magnificence. My hands balled, and I took another deep, calming breath.

 My mind flitted back to that fateful evening, despite my best efforts to stop it. I heard the screams as if she were screaming right beside me, while I lay there in a broken heap, helpless to stop the monster that had destroyed everything. I heard the sirens as if they were rushing down the road behind me. A road that was now empty, I knew, just as it always was.

 Coming back here had been a mistake. There were too many memories. Rather than give me closure, as I'd hoped, I was simply assaulted by nostalgia. It had only made me relive the pain, the helplessness, the grief. The loss. Her loss.

Life had never been easy, even when I was younger, but I didn't think it would continue to be an uphill battle. My father abandoned our family when I was just five. We were lost, for a time, but we all got through it. Then when my mother died of a 'heart attack' on my sixteenth birthday, it left my twin and I heartbroken. Mum was all we had in the world and even she had left us, even if she hadn't wanted to. But even that, Grace and I endured. We were strong, so long as we were together. 

 We’d faced off against the world, barely making enough money to get by. We didn’t care what everyone else thought, what they said. It was our life, not theirs. They didn't know anything. Didn't know what my family did for them, just so that they could sleep safer. If they knew, they wouldn't be so quick to judge.

 Coming back to myself, my eyes wandered back out to the sea, wanting to hurt the water that had idly watched as everything was taken from me. But I couldn’t. I was filled with an emotion so strong, hate was too tame a word. Hate at the waters, hate at fate, hate at the world.

 There was a wetness on my cheeks. Startled, I raised a trembling hand to my face, staring down at the tears that now covered my fingers. I hadn't cried in so long. There hadn’t seemed to be any tears left in me, but it was as if the majestic waters replenished my water supply.

 I sank to my knees, uncaring of the shallow water that gently lapped against my body. Of its own accord, my body hunched in on itself. It was a position that I didn't consciously enter; this only happened when what I was feeling was too much for me.

 Only Grace, my identical twin, had been able to get me out of this state, but she wasn't here. Not anymore. I became a statue in this position, no matter how much I wanted to move. It was as if my mind and body just shut down from the overload of emotions. I hadn't allowed myself to mourn for Grace in so long, and now I was paying the price.

 Time passed. It had been a while, I knew, although I wasn't sure how long exactly. Dusk now enveloped the beach in a cold embrace, filling the beach with its dark beauty. The moon shone in the sky, reflecting off the grey blue waters, just as the sun had before. Lightness and darkness, reflected as one in my mind's eye. 

 Slowly, I raised my head and looked around, finding that I was still alone. Alone in the darkness, like I had been for so long. My skin felt itchy, wrong, and my heart beat a thousand times per minute. The cold viciously attacked me, shattering the careful walls I had erected around myself as if they were glass. I shuddered violently, my teeth chattered together.

 Ignoring the cold, I lay back, letting the soothing water slosh around me. My chocolate hair was practically black. I watched as it joyfully danced in the water, swirling around without a care in the world. It was hard to believe that it was a part of me; I hadn't felt such joy in a long time. I stared, transfixed.

 Why couldn't the sea just carry me away? I didn’t want to exist any more. To live was to hurt, and I was tired of hurting. I just wanted it all to stop. To live peacefully, without the hardships of life.

 But I would never get to live the life I so desperately craved. I was different, and people who are different don't get happy endings.