Lost in Darkness

Chapter 18 Part 2

Just an FYI, Raven was drunk (in the recap bit). 

Recap:

"Raven, we can't," he breathed, gently kissing my neck, making me close my eyes. It took a moment for his words to sink in.
"What do you mean we can't? Of course we can!"

 I tried to bring my lips to his again, but he held me back, despite the desire in his eyes.
"No Raven, I can't. I've already taken advantage of you. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I let this go any further." I frowned at him as a wave of dizziness swept over me.
"But... Don't you want me?" I asked drowsily, trying my best to focus through the pounding in my head. He chuckled throatily, the sound vibrating against my throat before he pulled back to look me in the eye.
"Babe, you have no idea how much I want you, but you're not ready and chances are, you're more than a little bit tipsy."
I hiccuped, throwing him a glare. "Hey, that's not-" hiccup, "nice!"

 Cole laughed at me, pulled me close so that my head rested against his chest. I closed my eyes at the pleasurable warmth that seemed to emanate from him and seep into me, chasing away the cold I had once harboured. He kissed my forehead gently, rubbing soothing circles on my bare back.

 "Just go to sleep Raven," Cole whispered, his voice comforting. "We can sort everything out in the morning." 
"Cole, I'm so tired," I mumbled, snuggling against him. My eyes drifted shut. 
"I know you are Rave, but things'll get better. They always do." 
"I hope you're right. I don't like feeling like this." I sighed softly. I wasn't usually so out of control with my emotions. I felt like everything had been turned upside down. 
"Like what?" 

 But I was already asleep. 

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Chapter 18 Part 2

An insistent pounding in my head woke me up from the hottest dream I had ever had. Cole and I had been... Wait a minute. Why were there warm arms cuddling me from behind? Why was there the sound of another person's steady breathing? Why was I only in my bra and undies? 

Shit. Shit shit shit shit! What the hell did I do? Please tell me I didn't... My heart began to pound in my chest, as if it were trying to compete with the headache that was growing worse by the second. Images from last night seemed to flash through my mind.  

Izzy's broken, still frame surrounded in a pool of blood. A cold room. Questions. Stumbling through the rain, dripping wet and shivering. A bottle of vodka. Darkness. And Cole. So steady, so stable. A welcome comfort. Ice slowly being melted by his fiery heat... 

Well at least I know I wasn't entirely to blame in all this. Cole hadn't even been under the influence, as far as I could tell! But then...did that mean... He couldn't possibly...like me...could he? Normally, I would immediately deny it, would laugh at myself for even thinking it but... Well, last night had shown me differently. Cole...liked me.  

I smiled, thinking about Cole. He really was something. Always by my side, with me through the thick and thin, an unpredictable, humorous companion. He was the light that had saved me all those years ago. 

I'd been in a bad place after Grace had died. I was barely 17, all alone in the world, with no real idea of how to survive. I'd dropped school a while ago with barely any qualifications to my name. I'd failed most of them because I'd had to sit all of the exams after Mum had died. I hadn't really felt like studying. The only ones I'd passed were my ICT, Health and Social Care and English and even then, I'd only got C's, although I'd somehow managed an A in Health and Social Care...