Run For Your Life (Book Two)

Chapter Five

            Headphones in, world off. I sat in the back of Braiden’s car, headphones in my ears, music blasting, the whole world around me spinning. I leaned my head against the back of the seat and stared out the window. I just want to be back home. No Such Thing by John Mayer came on and I sighed as the lyrics filled my ears. "Welcome to the real world", she said to me. Condescendingly. Take a seat. Take your life. Plot it out in black and white. Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings and the drama queens. I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve. They love to tell you stay inside the lines, but something's better on the other side.

            I wanna run through the halls of my high school. I wanna scream at the top of my lungs. I just found out there's no such thing as the real world. Just a lie you've got to rise above. So the good boys and girls take the so called right track. Faded white hats. Grabbing credits maybe transfers. They read all the books but they can't find the answers and all of our parents. They're getting older. I wonder if they've wished for anything better. While in their memories. Tiny tragedies. They love to tell you. Stay inside the lines, but something's better on the other side.

            I got a notification from Instagram so I pulled up the app. Someone had liked my picture from a week ago. Nicole and I had just gotten back from the bookstore. Nicole found a list of creative date ideas online and one of them she really wanted to do was go to the bookstore and leave little notes in the books for future readers. We got back home and went to the backyard to play with Tank and Captain and she saw the big tree and begged me to climb it with her. We climbed the tree and sat down on one of the branches and took a picture. It probably wasn’t the best or the safest idea we’d had, but she said she hadn’t ever climbed a tree before and she really wanted to do it. So I let her climb the tree and then I climbed up after her.

            The song continued on and I scrolled through my pictures. I wanna run through the halls of my high school. I wanna scream at the top of my lungs. I just found out there's no such thing as the real world. Just a lie you got to rise above. I am invincible as long as I'm alive. I wanna run through the halls of my high school. I wanna scream at the top of my lungs. I just found out there's no such thing as the real world. Just a lie you've got to rise above. I just can't wait till my 10 year reunion. I'm gonna bust down the double doors and when I stand on these tables before you. You will know what all this time was for. I smiled a bit as I got to another picture of Nicole and me. We were at Disney World; we went to go pickup her last paycheck and we stopped by to see if they had hired someone else as Ariel yet. They had. We stood there for a minute and then Kiss the Girl started playing. I grabbed Nicole’s hand and tried to start dancing.

            She didn’t expect it though, so I just ended up pulling her towards me and she fell into me. We started laughing so hard that we couldn’t even stop to dance. At the end of the song though, I took her by surprise and kissed her and managed to get a decent picture of it. That picture wasn’t seen by anyone by me. I continued scrolling through my pictures and found more pictures. I found a few from our first trip to the beach. I found one from our trip to the beach around her birthday. Someone had taken my phone and snapped a picture of us when I picked her up and dropped her in the water and she grabbed my leg and pulled me down with her. I found one from her birthday party that I took when she wasn’t looking.

            I was so wrapped up in all the pictures and memories that it took me a few minutes to know we had stopped and were sitting in the driveway at home. I got out of the car and got my suitcase and her duffle bag out of the trunk. I said goodbye to my friends and walked up the driveway to the house. Riley had already unlocked and opened the door so I just hit it with my knee so it would open more. I went upstairs and dropped by suitcase off in my room. I went to Nicole’s room and opened the door. I half expected her to me sitting there on her bed, waiting for me to get home. I was a bit disappointed when she wasn’t there… I walked inside and set her bag down next to the bed. I sat down and looked around the room. She hadn’t really done much with it. There were a few pictures and posters tacked up but that was it.

            She had a pile of books on the chair next to the dresser and her old phone charger was still plugged into the wall next to the neatly made bed. I found it funny how her bed was made so neatly but there were six or seven pillows thrown all around the room. I got up and picked them up and put them back on the bed. It was weird, seeing the room this way. Seeing it quiet and without her. After all this time it seemed so empty and vacant. It seemed like she wasn’t ever here at all. I went to my room and tossed my shoes in the closet and then went downstairs to get my pillow that I threw at Nicole before we ever left. I walked back to her room and sat down on the bed again. I put my pillow under my head and stared up at the ceiling.

            I noticed there were curls in the ceiling. The paint was painted sort of like stretched out spirals. It was curly and spread across the entire ceiling. I wonder why I haven’t noticed this before. I guess Nicole was right, you really do notice the little things when you just lay there. I sat up and looked at all the pictures and posters on the walls. She had two All Time Low posters and one picture of Alex and Jack. She had a few pictures of the four pictures of the two of us and one of Toby, Riley, and I. It was a fairly old picture, from the month before we went on tour with Allstar Weekend. I couldn’t help but wonder where she got it from. There was another picture underneath that one. One with all of us in it. Chris, Riley, Cassy and Braiden were all in the back because they were the tallest. Emie was standing in front of Chris and he had his arms wrapped around her and his chin was resting on her head. Tayler was standing in front of Braiden and he had his head on her shoulder. She and I were standing in front of Riley and Cassy. You could tell that Nicole was standing on her tiptoes to make her look taller.

            Toby and Emily held hands and grinned big as they stood next to us. Thomas stood next to them with Sierra on his back. I smiled, I remembered this. It was the day after we went bowling. Mom took the picture because dad couldn’t figure out how to work the camera. A few inches over from that one was a picture of Nicole and Abbie at Disney World. They were dressed in their costumes and Nicole was holding the stuffed Flounder. It looked odd, seeing a mermaid and Wendy together, but you could also tell by the smiles on their faces that they had become the best of friends. I laid back down on the bed and felt something under my head. I put my hand under her pillow and pulled out two more pictures.

            One of them was of the two of us. It was at her birthday party and we were in the middle of a dance. You could slightly see Action Item in the background. I smiled and looked at the other one. It was a picture of just me. One that Thomas Falcone had taken. I was standing in front of some trees just smiling directly into the camera. The sun was shining down on my hair, making it look blonder than it actually is. I smiled a bit, I found out a secret of hers. I slid the pictures back under the pillow just as Riley walked past the room. “Nice to see you smiling again.” He said. “I just found something worth smiling about.” I told him. “See” Riley said. “It wasn’t so hard, was it?” “Actually, it kinda was.” I said. “It was hard to find, but once I found it I just couldn’t not smile.”

            “What?” I laughed. “Nevermind.” I told him. “Are you gonna go to sleep soon?” Riley asked, changing the subject. “I don’t know, I might just stay in here.” I said. “Dude, that’s kinda creepy.” “How?” I asked. “After all she is my girlfriend.” “You’re sleeping in her room.” Riley said. I shrugged. “Aside from the pain from missing her, this room just makes me feel good.” I said. “It reminds me of her and it still kinda smells like her and all these pictures remind me of such good times.” “Are you sure you won't cry because of it though?” Riley asked. I shook my head. “I’m not going to cry. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. I’ve done so much of that recently that I think my eyes are starting to get dry.”

            Riley laughed. “Well there’s eyedrops in the bathroom if you need them.” I laughed. “Thanks, man.” Riley nodded and started to walk out of the room, but then stopped. “Hey Connor” he said. “Yeah?” “If you want, I’ll help you look for Nicole tomorrow.” I smiled. “Thanks Riley.” I said. Riley nodded. “I know you love her… I can't really imagine what you feel like right now.” He said. “I wouldn’t want you to feel like I do.” I told him. Riley smiled a bit and walked out of the room and down the hall to his. I opened Nicole’s bag up and found her teddy bear resting right on top. I picked him up and held onto him tightly. I slowly drifted off to sleep being as close to Nicole as I could currently get.