Lost Brother? Lost Lover?

Chapter 1

The breeze blew slowly past me, ruffling my hair gently. I barely noticed it; barely felt it. Everything was numb and cold to my skin. Might have been from a recent drug, might have been the ice from my heart spreading to cover the rest of my soul. Either way, it wasn't a pleasant feeling.

I heard a door behind me open but, I didn't turn towards the guard. I just continued to stared through the metal cage surrounding the second floor balcony I was currently sitting on. The guard walked up and cleared his throat. "Dr. Benton has asked for you to come to a session." He said.

I dropped my eyes to my lap and sat there for a moment. Then I stood slowly and began to walk towards the door leading back into the facility. The guard followed at my heels, though he need not. I wasn't going anywhere fast. I had no reason to.

As we entered the familiar room with desks and couches I took a seat near a window, leaning on one elbow as I let out a sigh. The man I had grown to know as Dr. Benton smiled at me. "Hello, Jason."

I didn't respond with more than a shrug as I stared out at the trees. He chuckled lightly. "It's alright. You don't have to say anything. But, can you answer a few questions?"

Another shrug. I would do as I was told and that was all. If he wanted answers then I'd give them but, I wasn't in the mood for a conversation. Not that I ever was.

He pulled out a notebook. "How have you been sleeping?"

"Fine." I replied quietly.

"Are you still having insomnia? Any headaches like before?"

I shrugged for the third time since my arrival that day. "Not so much."

He nodded and wrote a few things down. When he was done he looked up. "I hear you've been eating almost normally now. That's good progress, Jason. I'm very proud of you."

I merely blinked and continued to gaze aimlessly out the window. He stood up and came to stand in front of me, blocking my view. "Jason, I know you don't want to talk right now, you never do, but could you at least face me when we're have a session?"

I lifted my eyes to meet his and stared at him for a moment. Then I turned towards his desk, crossing my legs in my seat. "Fine..."

He sighed and walled over to sit behind his desk again. "So, how long do you sleep every night?"

"About five hours a night... I wake up a lot." I said.

"From nightmares? Or something else?" Dr. Benton asked.

I didn't answer that question and pulled my knees to my chin, muttering incoherent words to myself. What a stupid question to ask. It was pointless.

Dr. Benton frowned and, dispite my obvious opinion on the subject, asked again. "Have you still been having nightmares?"

I stared at the floor as I muttered a low, "Yeah..."

"Can you tell me what they're about? Do you still see Dylan or is it getting more varied?" He asked.

"More varied..."

He nodded. "That's good. You're making a lot of progress and it's only been a few weeks." He leaned back in his chair. "Are you happy?"

I couldn't really answer that at first so I just played with the hem of my shirt. Dr. Benton frowned. "You have freedom privileges not many other subjects have. You don't go through physical tests. You're even allowed to sit on the balcony by yourself."

I shrugged. "Yeah..."

"Do you like the balcony?"

I loved it. It was the only place I could sit and concentrate in complete silence. If I even tried hard enough I could almost see Dylan's outline in the back of my imagination. It was the only thing I had left... His outline...

Suddenly, Dr. Benton scolded me harshly. "Jason, please pay attention."

I snapped out of my thoughts and tensed my shoulders. "Sorry..."

He sighed. "I think that's enough for today." He pressed a button on his desk and a guard entered the room. "Take him back to his room." Dr. Benton instructed.

I hesitated. "Can I go back to the balcony...?"

"No, I think you've had your fill for now. Maybe if you answer more questions next time I'll let you sit out there again." He said.

I slumped and followed the guard out the door. The halls were mostly empty. Every now a then a scream could be heard from behind one of the doors but, it was nothing I wasn't used to. I hardly heard it.

As the door to my room closed and I heard the lock click I sat down on my bed with a sigh. Then I turned to the wall next to my bed and stared hard at the white paint. I did this for hours. It was my way of coping with my situation.

Over the last couple weeks I had begun forgetting things. Like what my bedroom looked like back home, or the names of my closest friends. Every couple nights I might have a dream and it would refresh my memory but, not nearly as quickly as it faded away.
When I stared at the wall I could picture everything as it had been. A park full of trees, posters all over my bedroom walls, maybe some conflicts at school. Everything was like a movie. Of course, I had no idea whether these pictures were actually part of my memory or just my imagination but, I found it comforting none the less.

As I sat there I saw flashing lights and could smell something sweet. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back as my senses were overwhelmed by a sudden feeling. I heard music and laughter, almost feeling the evening air brush my skin. I took a shaky breath and smiled as warm hands came from behind me and held mine, their small from fitting perfectly in mine. There was breath on my neck and I reached up to run my hands through soft hair.

"Jason..." A voice murmured.

It wasn't really a voice but, somehow I knew what it was saying. I hummed and tried to turn towards them. However, they wouldn't let me and I frowned. "I want to see you..." I leaned against them. "I miss you..."

The person didn't reply and I suddenly felt cold. As I turned to face them my breath stopped and I stepped back. Suddenly, a hand reached up out of nowhere and grabbed onto my ankle. I screamed and thrashed around as I was dragged across the floor. Just as the sky began disappearing from view...

I sat up with a start. I was breathing hard and my shirt stuck to me from my sweat. I glanced at the door and put a hand to my forehead. My legs were tangled in my sheets. I sighed and fell back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Then tears rolled down my cheeks and I rolled to bury my face in my pillow.

*******

Hey everyone! So this is the first chapter of my third book in the Brother/Lover series! I have so much planned for this book and can't wait to get started. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! AS ALWAYS, VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW, AND STAY AWESOME!

-Nekoco