Lost Brother? Lost Lover?

Chapter 27

"Can the witness please stand?"

I stood in my chair, hands clenched and close to my sides. The judge nodded at me and I sat again. My eyes flitted about the room nervously. I hated being center of attention. I didn't like all the eyes that were staring at me.

"Can the witness point out Dr. Harold Benton at this time, please." The judge asked.

I glanced up at Dr. Benton seated across from me with his lawyer. My hands shook, but I forced my arm to cooperate as I pointed to him. The judge nodded again and I dropped my arm.

"Thank you." He said. He glanced through some papers. "And can the witness tell the jury how he came to know the accused?"

My throat felt like it was tied with a rope an inch thick. My hands fisted into my slacks as I desperately tried to swallow. Everyone had their eyes on me. As I brought my eyes up though, they met with Christian's. He smiled encouragingly at me and I felt the nerves slowly begin to drain away.

With my new found strength, I turned my attention to the jury. "It started with my brother and I... Well, my brother... He went through horrible things and when I found out..." Slowly the story unfolded and I told about how it had all come to be. I wanted to leave out some of the more painful memories, but whenever the jury asked, I was forced to tell about what they did to us. By the end of my tale, I was violently snapping a rubber band on my wrist.

There were several jury members glaring at Dr. Benton. Even the judge looked compassionate to my plight and it took him a moment to come back to the present time. "Um, thank you. You may leave the stand now." He said. Dr. Benton looked uninterested.

I was thankful for the chance to leave and practically ran back to the pews. Christian rubbed my shoulders as I breathed in and out deeply. "You did fine." He told me.

My heart was beating a mile a minute and I felt like throwing up. "What time is it...? Can I go now?" I asked.

He chuckled. He thought I was joking but really. He had no idea how much I just wanted to find a dark corner and forget anything ever happened. While I was still trying to get a hold on myself, Dr. Benton was called to the stand. He sent me a look of annoyance and I glared at him. I hoped he tripped on the stairs.

*******

As my head spun with unwanted images, I snapped the rubber band around my wrist. My therapist had told me to do it whenever I felt uncomfortable or upset. It was a way to ground myself and know that I was still where I was supposed to be. It helped a little, but not nearly as much as I wished it would.

"Jason?"

Suddenly, I realized someone was calling my name. I turned away from the window I was subconsciously using as a screen for images I didn't want to see, and back to the homemade lunch I was sharing with my parents. My mom was frowning at me. "Are you okay? Today was a stressful day for you." She said.

I tried to smile so I wouldn't worry her. "I'm fine." I said. "I was just thinking."

My dad gave me that look like he knew I was lying, but thankfully, from his years of dealing with damaged children, he knew better than to drag it through the mud. However he did put his hand on my shoulder. "You know you can talk to us if you need to."

"I know." I said quickly, hoping to avoid that very subject. Then a bit more controlled, "I know... Thank you, but I'm perfectly alright."

My parents glanced between each other before shrugging it off. They went back to talking and I resumed my window gazing. That's how it's been for a while. The first few days after my hospital release, my parents had been all over me, so concerned. Then I snapped at them. I still felt bad about that, but at least they hadn't pushed me anymore. I just needed a little space.