Random Little Stories

Why?

(A/N: Trigger warning! I'm feeling sad and decided to write this. GirlXGirl)

You're not doing this out of love.
Out of protection.
No, you just want something to be proud of.
And my brother isn't enough.
You thrive to be the best, yet you don't know how overwhelming it is.
The papers are piling up because I can't seem to use my voice an class.
And you're just taking advantage of the love I have for her.
You're using her.
You say, "Bring your grades up and you can see her outside of school."
But I know you're testing me.
Seeing if you can use her so you can make me do better.
I want to make the pile disappear, but I can't seem to do do it.
They are scattered on my bed.
Organized.
I wanted to by some time.
But I can't seem to escape it.
'Why is school so important though we have all this new technology?' I ask myself.
It's getting me nowhere though.
She says she wants to help, but we can't do anything together.
I feel like everyone surrounding me is homophobic.
My teachers.
My principal.
My parents.
My brother.
Heck, even the custodians.
She has it better, but though maybe not for long.
Only her mom knows, and I'm afraid the dad will go ballistic.
I'm worried.
I'm scared.
I'm crying.
I know I'm overreacting, and that people have it worse.
But I can't seem to worry about other people,
but her and I.
Just why?