Depressed. Imperfect. Lonely. Those words surrounded me like a puddle. A puddle that would never dry up. I hated it.
Dark. Cold. Silent. Those words described the sleepless nights I had always experienced.
During those nights, I would find myself escaping through my bedroom window and wander into dark narrow allies. I could not care less if I got lost. If I did- well then... that's good.
I would lean against the walls of the narrow ally and light a cigarette. I would inhale and let the cloud of smoke fill my head. I would slowly let it burn away my bitter thoughts.
And maybe... It could burn away my feelings as well.
I did not want to care anymore. I was sick and tired of it. I wanted to be free. Free from the superficial world. I wanted to be able to stop myself from constantly wanting to please others. I wanted to be a real person, with real friends, not just plastic me and some real but sour feelings.
But those are just wants. And those wants are more than what I could afford. No matter how much I wished and prayed for an angel- or at least a good person to save me from my miserable self, it could never be granted.
That was what I thought until you find me smoking while lying on the ground in a puddle, in the middle of the narrow ally during the deep dark night.
YOU ARE READING
SMILE ; JHS
Fanfiction"Once you are at the brink of death, you will begin to regret because you will realize that you have not lived just yet." She wished, and received, but lost her angel so she could be saved.
