Dearest, Heartbreaker.

||fifth letter back||

Dearest,

Violet.

It's been a week

since your last letter.

and it's been bothering me A LOT.

I've tried to hold myself back

from writing to you,

but I'm afraid of going insane

if I keep restraining myself.

are you really not going to write anymore?

Jesus Christ,

I don't know what's happening to me.

one minute I'm begging God

to rid me of a creepy stalker

that might be dangerous,

and the next I'm praying

so that she doesn't stop writing me letters.

I probably just miss hanging out with Tyler,

it's not the same anymore.

He's got you and I-

Well..

-I got myself.

And, Natalie,

but I'm afraid that since you mentioned

her obnoxious high pitched voice

I can't stop noticing it.

Sure she's still a good time,

(If you know what I mean)

but I'm getting really tired of her in school.

I'm starting to think she's even planning our wedding.

She'll cry blood when I break up with her.

I guess one more heart for my collection, huh?

I don't know maybe

I just need a good shag.

Perhaps Natalie can help with that in a bit.

But that'll have to wait since I'm not home.

You see, Violet,

before my dad died,

everyday after school

he would take me to this ice cream shop

and he would buy me ice cream.

He used to say that

we all needed a little "happiness"

in our life.

But one day he didn't take me for ice cream.

instead he took me to this deserted building,

I remember that we climbed ages of stairs

just to get to the roof.

And when we got there

he took my hand in his

and guided me to the edge.

We sat down with our feet dangling in the air

watching how the sky turned into different colors

and he told me to look

for that one girl

that made my hear beat rapidly in my chest,

my palms sweaty

and my words a slurred mess.

He said that

that was what it was all about

love and happiness.

Everything else didn't matter.

Not money,

Not the economy,

Not the social pyramid,

Not anything that matters to people now.

Maybe that's why I'm such an ass

because I miss him.

And that's not an excuse,

to treat people like shit

but lately I can't seem to be happy

except when I re-read your letters.

-Ryder.

(P.S about the staring....I can't promise that I'll stop anytime soon.)

(P.S.S it's been a week, c'mon. It's your turn to write me one now.)