Sick and Disgusting (KELLIC) (boyxboy)

Chapter 12

Song of the Chapter: "The World Is Ugly" by My Chemical Romance

*11:30 that same night*

Kellin's POV

It took me a few hours to get all the way across town. I didn't run the whole way, obviously. I eventually slowed to a walk, though my thoughts were still racing maddeningly. I then waited on Vic's front porch for a while longer, feeling the butterflies rush into my stomach every time a car passed by. I wasn't entirely sure what I was planning on saying to him, but I knew what the basis of it would be.

I love you.

When Vic's familiar car turned into the driveway, I stood up, my skinny jean-clad legs shaking violently. I half-feared that he was going to turn around and drive away as soon as he recognized me. It seemed to me that he parked his car in slow motion, pausing in between every motion, but it was probably just my nerves.

"What are you doing here?" Vic asked quietly, his voice slightly hoarse. I swallowed heavily, preparing myself for the very possible chance of rejection.

"I love you," I blurted out. Vic came over to me, and I could see tears shining in his eyes from the glow of the porch light.

"You know I love you, Kells," Vic told me, his fingertips caressing my cheek gently. My heart swelled at the words I'd been aching to hear.

"Can we be together again?" I pleaded softly. I'd never wanted to be the kind of guy who begged for someone to take him back, but Vic... Vic would be the exception to every rule I set for myself. He pulled his warm hand away from my face.

"I can't," he told me, his voice trembling with unshed tears.

"Please," I repeated breathily, reaching out and touching his forearm. Vic bit his lip, and I knew he was forcing himself to keep from crying.

"I can't, Kellin. I'm only going to hurt you more, and you deserve so much better than that," Vic choked out, his first tear falling.

"But we love each other, we can make it work," I insisted, squeezing his arm affectionately. He pushed my hand away reluctantly.

"I'm so sorry. I think you should go home," Vic whispered. I felt my heart cracking as he turned to the front door.

"I know about your HIV," I said, stopping Vic in his tracks. His back was to me, his front door wide open. The pause seemed to last an eternity.

"How?" Vic asked, his voice barely audible even in the quiet night.

"Jeremy told me. If that's the only reason you want to end this, then don't. I love you, Vic," I confessed boldly. Vic faced me again, tears streaming down his face. He wiped at his coffee-colored eyes in obvious embarrassment.

"Kellin, I'll never let you go. But... I'm disgusting. You'd be taking a huge risk every time we did anything sexual. I'm going to be sick all the time. I'm going to die, Kellin. I couldn't bear to abandon you that way," Vic explained, his voice heavy as he cried. I pulled him to me in a tight embrace, holding him as sobs wracked his body.

I realized that he was thinner than he had been when we started dating.

"If it doesn't work out, it doesn't. But I don't want something like this to ruin what could be the start of something beautiful," I told him softly, pressing a kiss to his damp cheek. Vic finally looked me straight in the eyes, his own full of sadness.

"Are you sure?" he confirmed quietly. I kissed his mouth then, and I could feel the puzzle pieces practically snap into place.

"Certain," I promised. Vic fearlessly kissed me back, and I knew that we would be okay eventually.