call me hopeless, not romantic; irwin

Chapter 4: Riverbanks

A/N:Hello again! I have some important information. I'm gonna try and update every saturday! YAY! Its the only day i can because of school unfortunatly :( 

Thank you for the reads btw! 300 now :D I'm really happy and thats why i am trying so hard to update for you all. I really do love you all so thank you. 

This story reflects me because like i said it's my journal just edited so it's hard to rewrite some of the things i say when it talks about things that are deemed serious to most. So thank you for your support. 

Don't be afriad to ask questions or tell me what you don't like and what you do! I take everything on bored so just pop up on my message board or message me :) (you can just say hi if you want)

So here is Ch4. I hope you like it, i really enjoyed writing this chapter because this actually happened to me with my now ex boyfriend haha. 

Enjoy ~ amandajane

Suicide is a funny thought. All the greats have done it or tried too, for instance,Kurt Cobain. His suicide not said 'It's better to burn out than fade away.' That's pretty deep. Maybe I should start mine off like that. I Just pray I never get to that stage. I have been so fucking close too it i'll tell you that. I think the devil took over his soul but god just hasn't given me one.

I feel nothing.

I'm cold,alone and useless to most. I have the quickest fucking temper and sometimes I just forget where the hell I am. I'm turn into this, like, bastard monster. I like monsters. The destruction they cause? Man that shit is epic, much better than all this werewolves and vampires piss you get now. What fucking girl goes near them and falls in love? It's so unrealistic I want to shoot myself. Twilight is a waste of time. An Interview with A Vampire, now THATS a good movie, so much detail and just the right amount of fantasy to make you believe. I'm going off topic again. Vampires know what they are doing, they are full concious of their actions. However monsters are totally unaware of the mayhem they are creating and have no fucking clue where they are, kinda like a stoner but more obscure looking and green.

I would love to be like the Basilik.

A legendary lizard who could kill a man with his stare. My eyes are cold anyway. I could use that on that idiot Horan kid. He looks like a fucking furby: less hairy of course. I cannot fathom why the beautiful Rhona is with him.

Rhona

She looks so much like an angel. But as they say 'good girls are bad girls that just haven't been caught yet.'

Looking around, Ash notices all the people in the coffee shop with their laptops and cappuccinos. Fucking 'writers' he thinks to himself. Everyone in this place thinks writing about a 'forbidden love' or when they hate each other then suddenly 'fall in love', will get them a published deal. Just because 50 Shades of Grey happened that way, doesn't mean it happens all the time- plus that book was just for horny 40 year olds that never get cock anymore.

That's the thing though, everyone thinks if you post something on a website or go on some reality show you will be famous and have loads of money and shag every vagina on legs. Well you don't. You make a fool of yourself and have your 15 minutes of fame and the rest of your life your on those 'where are they now shows' reminiscing about the good times were you met Elton John or Robbie Williams at Hyde Park. Fucking idiots.

Once he was done criticising everyone and everything he left with his journal in tow. The sky was cloudy and it was starting to rain. Luckily Ashton was wearing his beanie and hoodie to protect him in some way.