Radiant - An Everlark Fanfiction

-Chapter Seven -

As bad as I feel about saying this, Peeta and I are both relieved that the summer is coming to its close. Yes, the long days filled with beautiful skies and warm breezes will soon disappear. The good thoughts and happiness that coincide with the season will fade. But with autumn comes time to ourselves. The lack of stress and commotion. The reminder that I am still my own person. As is Peeta. With autumn comes school, and soon, for the first time in over seven years, Peeta and I will once again be alone together for the majority of our days.

Willow is starting 3rd grade soon. Comparatively, she's always been a bit younger than the rest in her class. Most of her friends will be turning 9 this year, while she will be turning 8. We've considered holding her back so she can catch up with the other children, but repeating material that she's already learned would surely bore her, considering she's mastered it. Losing her friends would also be quite a downfall as well. So we keep her where she is.

Rye is staring his first year of preschool. He's not as eager to learn as Willow was when she was his age, but he's still open to the idea. For his birthday, Peeta and I took him into town where he could pick out his own school supplies. Unbeknownst to us, Willow was listening in while we discussed our plans, found out, and grew jealous. We had told her that she had to reuse her materials from last year, which of course lead to many questions, scowls, and even tears. The same thing was said each time she complained: "When you turned 4, we did the same thing for you. It's Rye's turn now." She wasn't satisfied. She still isn't. But we let her pout. There's no use in telling her to stop, anyway. All she wants is attention. Just one of the many traits Peeta and I still can't pinpoint who or where she got it from.

"Mama?" Rye says, pulling on my pant leg. I look down from my seat and gaze into his curious, gray eyes. My lips form a smile.

"Yes?"

"When is school?"

"Two days," I reply. "Tomorrow's the last day of summer."

He furrows his eyebrow, his mouth agape. "I'm going to have to leave you in two days?"

I smile at his innocence, but frown at his accuracy. The words he just muttered are the same ones I've been thinking since the day he was born. In two days, both my children are going to walk away. Leave me. Yes, they'll come back. But nothing is ever guaranteed. Not in my life, at least.

"Oh my big boy," I breath, picking him up and placing him on my lap. "You shouldn't be nervous. You're the lucky one who's going to be learning new things. Making new friends."

He flutters his long eyelashes, taking in every word that I say. "Friends?" he peeps.

"Of course. You're going to meet many people at school that will share the same interests as you. You'll be able to laugh and learn with people your age."

I look at him to see if he understands. I think he does, but he tilts his head to the side, asking for more information on this new topic.

"You see Willow and her friends all the time," I start. "She walks home with Maisey almost everyday! They met each other in preschool and have stayed friends ever since."

"Oh yeah," Rye says quietly. He thinks, looking past me, before speaking up again. "Do you have friends?"

My smile fades, and all I can do to keep Rye from seeing my expression is pull him into a hug. I close my eyes. Madge. Gale. Finnick. Boggs. Rue. Mags. Cinna. Beetee. Wiress. Johanna. All my friends have either left me or died. But I don't dare tell Rye this. This won't just tamper with his expectations of school, but his whole outlook on life.

"No," I gulp, before realizing I've probably said the wrong thing. "I'm not very good at making friends."

Rye backs away from the hug and notices my gray eyes begin to fill with tears. I know I shouldn't be doing this. I know I should have accepted how things were years ago. But all I fear now is Rye's future. The last thing I want is for him to end up like me. Alone and friendless. Weak and broken. I'm at serious risk of crying, until suddenly, Rye's weight is lifted from my lap. And Peeta's warm scent fills my nose.