Me Thoughts

Is It?

Daisy is here and I lied to her saying I needed to use the bathroom and I'm sitting in here because everything has just been so awkward. We were okay when we talking when we first met face to face but she's going to be sleeping here,eating here,breathing here and I don't know if everything is fully all right between us. What happened is that she was reading this book and she found out about Andy and asked me who he was to me. You guys don't know besides that he was ignoring me for a long time and that frustrated me and now we aren't friends anymore.

Andy was my first real friend and he was awesome. We've been friends for years and we did everything together. Then weeks ago,he told me that he had a Wattpad account and he wanted me to have one as long as he had control over the username. I agreed and he came up with Andyisthenewbestie but then he started to ignore me and he said that I was nothing and a loser and just a depressed girl. Those words really hurt me and I just couldn't believe he said that to me. So I changed the name to Andyistheoldfriend meaning I was thinking about being his friend or not at all. He lies to me and says that he didn't say that but I know it's true. He stopped hanging out with me at school and started to hangout with the fuck boys and playing with girls' hearts. I was mad because I gave him so much trust that he threw it back in my face. So one day after school I walked up to him and punched him in his face and he almost hit me back but he just walked away like an asshole. Then I erased him from my mind completely. It still hurts. It hurts more when he tried texting me and trying to talk to me telling me lies that he cares for me and all that bullshit. I'm not as mad like I am every other day. I'm sad now because of me remembering and that I'm ditching Daisy. So I told her and she kept asking me if I'm okay and asking me how he made me feel like. I couldn't tell her because I would've started to cry so I got mad at her and said "Fuck you goodnight" I am such a bad cousin/friend.

We made up I guess but it still feels weird and now we're face to face again it's hard to talk to her since we're opposites. She hangs with Cyn and that's easy since they both have a childish mind and love rainbows and sweet things. I want to talk to her and make things better between us but all I do is just screw things up. I tell her we're okay when she asks but I don't know if we are. I guess it made me more mad because she thought I liked Andy in more than a friend way which I never did. Like I've said I don't get crushes as much as anyone not just because I'm scared of it but also that there hasn't been anyone that's been really real with me that makes me attracted to them in that way. I'm gonna go out now and I'm just gonna sulk around and hope Daisy doesn't ask me if I'm okay.

So how's your day?