Ephemeral | A Lily & James Story

Pay Attention

     "Jenna and James broke up." It's a simple statement. Five words, it's barely even a sentence. But, this sentence has the power to send joy ripping through my body.

     I look at Sirius. He is watching me over the top of the Daily Prophet, sizing up my reaction. A smirk is playing on the corners of his lips. I want to tell him to wipe the smile off his face, but I am too busy trying to hold back a smile of my own.

     "Why are you telling me?" I ask trying to keep my voice light.

     He gives me a look and rolls his eyes. "You fancy him." I begin to ask who told him, but he interrupts me with his hands raised. "Lily, before you say anything, nobody told me. Nobody had to tell me. Any idiot with eyes could see that your feelings for James have changed. Any idiot except James. But, before you two get all lovey, dovey, I need to know you won't break my boy's heart."

     My head is spinning. Not just from the information about James' relationship, not from the fact that Sirius Black just used my real name, not Red, not Evans, and not Lilikins, but Sirius Black is being serious.

     "I think it's my heart we have to worry about," I whisper. I've been so caught up in getting James, or at least getting him away from Jenna, I hadn't stopped to remember why I didn't want to date him in the first place. I don't date players.

     "Oh, Evans, I thought you were the smartest person in our year? James is crazy about you. Always has been, and always will be. If anybody's heart will be broken, it'll be his. So, please, before you jump into the relationship, make sure you won't hurt him." He goes back to reading his paper, as if we just discussed the weather.

     I stand there frozen for a minute. Looking around at the Gryffindor common room.  A room I've spent many years studying and laughing in. A room where I have rejected James Potter so many times, I can't count them. A room where I chased him and Sirius fifth year because they tried to start a game of extreme exploding snap. A room where I watched James walk through the portrait hole with girl after girl, never caring, until I realized I wanted that girl to be me.

     My throat is dry, and I'm not really sure where to go. My feet shift around before I walk out through the portrait hole. I don't know where I plan to find James, maybe I'll run into him. As I am thinking it, I do run into someone, just not James.

     "Lily," the voice sends guilt flooding through my body.

     "Hi, Draven," I say politely, averting my eyes.

     "I wanted to talk to you about our Hogsmeade trip. Would you want to do again sometime? I had a really good time," he smirks at me. I can practically feel the arrogance radiating off of him. I don't feel so guilty anymore. He's looking at me expectantly, and I can't help but wonder if this boy has ever heard no.

     "Listen, Draven," I say as nicely as I can. "I had a good time too, and I think you are very attractive and all, but I just don't like you like that. You know?" My words are harsh, but the truth is better than a lie. It's been a couple of days since the Hogsmeade trip, and I've managed to avoid him until now.

     His face falls and turns red. He is definitely not used to this. "Yeah, I totally get it. Yeah. See you around, Lily." He jogs back to the portrait hold and quickly climbs through.

     Well, it could have been worse, I guess. Where was I even planning on going? My brain is so foggy, it's impossible to think straight. Find James? Don't find James? Let James find me? Act like I didn't even know they broke up? I AM NOT GOOD AT THIS.

     "Lily, we have patrolling tonight. Ready to go?" I turn to see Remus walking towards me. Am I this desperate? Yes, the answer is yes.

     "Hey, mind if I patrol with James tonight? Where is he?" I ask.