Corn, Cows, and the Apocalypse

Clean Up in Aisle Five

I couldn't help but smile as we rounded the final leg of our journey into my hometown. The sign at the city limits had long since been vandalized, but the remaining motto still held at the bottom: Power and Progress. It was an excruciating reminder of how little power mattered, and how useless our progress had been.

In a town composed mostly of glimmer grim, we couldn't actually live inside the city limits. Not all the bodies were animated, but you never knew where an attack would come from, so it was just best to avoid the most populated areas. However, we still needed supplies and we had picked clean the surrounding small-town grocery stores.

So into my home sweet home we went, to pick up our stock for the week. That's where I came in. I was the third sidekick, Lenore Evans. Aside from guarding horses, the job of the third sidekick was essentially to gather supplies, cook, clean, and when necessary, be bait.

Devin pulled the truck into the grocery store parking lot and let the engine run while he hopped out of the cab with a cluster of fabric grocery bags looped over his arm.

Yes, we were still green in the new world.

He came to the back of the truck and put down the tailgate. I came to the edge and he raised his hands for me like I was a child too small to jump down. The truck had a high clearance, but nothing I couldn't handle. His insistence on helping all of us down, however, was not about necessity. It was his modernized version of chivalry.

I crouched down and put my hands on his shoulders. He grabbed me around my waist, lifted me off the truck, and set me on the concrete. "Hmm, you've lost weight." He winked at me.

I probably hadn't lost any weight, but it's what every girl wants to hear after a big strong man puts his hands around her. "I stopped eating just for you," I teased.

"Not too much, though. I like to have something to grab," he teased right back.

I bit my lip, trying not to smile as big as my mouth wanted to. "Where's the list?" I changed the subject so my cheeks wouldn't redden. I had a mad crush on Devin, but I was way too shy to act on it.

He wasn't the type of guy that pursued women. He was too pretty to ever have to lift a finger to get what he wanted. August had always told me that he was not the exclusive property of anyone, and I should make my intentions known, but I was still stuck in the old world tradition of one man, one woman.

Our under-populated world had left male-female relationships open to expansive definitions. Justifiably, for reasons of comfort, reciprocity, and sanity, Devin freely offered himself to any woman willing to knock on his door. It was the knocking on the door part I hadn't quite worked up the nerve for.

Devin pulled a paper list out of his back pocket and handed it to me. I gave it a quick once-over, stuck it in my front jeans pocket, and took the bags from him.

"Why don't you pick me up some lube while you're in there?" he requested.

"What kind?" I asked before I fully understood what he was asking for.

"Whatever kind makes you wet, baby." He grinned and hopped up on the tailgate.

I just shook my head and walked off. There was no point getting hot and bothered now. Not when I had work to do.

I was the poster child for sidekicks, if I do say so myself. Sure, I was a glorified personal assistant/housekeeper, but I was damn good at it. I knew what brand of potato chips gave Haden the shits. I knew that August loved Fig Newtons, but only the name brand version. I even knew that Devin preferred the super thick and soft toilet paper.

Knowing about his toilet paper preference did take the edge off the massive crush I had on him, but only enough to keep me from embarrassing myself when he gave me attention. I may have barely qualified for the description sexually active before the apocalypse, but I wasn't stupid. I knew I wasn't the type of girl who could sleep around without tipping the scales of like and love. I would say it was because I was a romantic, but I think it had more to do with my profound neediness.