You Scoundrel! (Han Solo x Reader)

Guilt

-(Y/N)'s Pov-

It's lonely without Han. He always brought the humor and lightheartedness everyone needed. Chewbacca has fallen into a depressed state of mind; he misses Han. Leia and Luke have only become tense and tough to speak with.

With the mention of Luke... His hand was replaced with a mechanical one. It appears like a normal hand, but if you look closer, it has small, tan screws in four neat lines.

I could have prevented it. I could have....

The good thing, now, is that I have rejoined the Resistance. No one trusted me at first. They thought I had only rejoined to be a spy for Vader. I told them it was a mistake of everyone, and that when the Hoth base started to collapse, I was trapped. So it was partially true.

Suddenly, Luke barged into my room on the Falcon. He had the most confused look on his face.

"I have a plan," Luke began. "Though, it might not work."

"We can try, Luke. Whatever it takes to get Han back." I replied.

"Alright, so we get Leia on the inside, and—"

"Inside of where?"

"Inside Jabba's Palace. Anyways, then we get Chewie in, disguised at a prisoner, and Leia will be the bounty hunter. After that, I— Wait, no! I'll send a video first hand—"

"Luke, this sounds extravagant, but when do I help?" I ask, somewhat concerned.

"(Y/N), you won't be helping. I'm sorry, but none of us want you getting hurt." Luke replied.

"But I want to help!" I retaliated. "Han is the reason I'm even with all of you! I need to help get him back, Luke—"

"No, (Y/N)!" Luke yelled. "You're not helping..."

I scoffed, and stomped out of my room, leaving Luke there in frustration. Han was my closest friend, along with a few others. I miss him. I haven't seen him in ages. When I last encountered Han, we were in a difficult situation.

But that's in the past. I only need to worry about the future. I will make sure it includes Han. I'm going to help Luke, whether he wants my assistance or not.

I continued down the hallway of the Falcon, and ran into Chewie. He let out a roar before I caught myself from falling on my rear.

"Sorry, Chew. I've been distracted lately with Han..." I muster. Chewbacca lets out an agreeing groan.

"I want to help get him back," I begin. I look Chewbacca in the eyes, hoping he'll talk to Luke for me. Though, I can understand by a low Wookie noise that he wants me to speak to Luke himself. I nod, and find myself heading towards the cockpit. I enter the short door, and see Luke in the passenger seat.

"If you were in the pilot's seat, I would've had to murder you," I chuckle. Luke turned his head and smiled at me. I sat down in the pilot's seat, and thought about what I was going to tell Luke. Though, he beat me to it.

"I'm sorry that I don't want your help, (Y/N)," he whispered. "It's nothing against you. At all. It's me. I don't want to lose anyone else I care about on this mission. I know that Leia and Chewbacca are already at risk, but if it were you, I'd never forgive myself."

I let out a breath that I was unaware of holding in. I fiddled with my fingers in my lap. I didn't know what to reply with.

"Luke, I find this very sweet and caring, but I can take care of myself," I started. "I've had this guilt ever since I saw Han and the gang while I was still on the Dark Side; in Cloud City. This is the only way I might redeem myself and make amends. I need to be a Jedi, and be with the Light Side. I need to help.

"I know that you don't want me going," I trailed on to Luke. "But this...this is my redemption arch. I have failed my name of Jedi, and I fear this could be the only way to be accepted back to the Light Side, Luke. Please, let me help you."

Luke seemed overwhelmed by all of this emotion being poured onto him. He sighed. I could almost hear his thoughts, but I decided not to pry.

"(Y/N)," he paused. "If it means that much to you, and if you truly want to be a Jedi again, then you may come with us—"

"Yes!!" I shouted with excitement.

"But, on one condition," Luke resumed. I raised my eyebrows. "You will have to play an act that you are still on the Dark Side."

"What?!" I gasp.

"(Y/N), I've thought it through a couple times. It's the only way everything could play through as it needs to." Luke grabs my hands in his. "I'm sorry, but this is the only way."

I nod my head. "I can do it."

***

I sat in the middle of my room. Meditation wasn't always my thing. In the case of reaching out to a frozen Han Solo, it was.

Han, I attempted. If you can hear me, know that I love you. No matter what may happen. And know that... I never wanted to hurt you and I never want to hurt you again.

There was no response. I didn't expect one. Though, I hoped for some sort of contact.

Han, I'm sorry, I tried again. I have so much to tell you. I miss you, Han.