Shadow Children

Some day

Chapter 4

'' Mom....could I maybe make some breakfast today?'' I asked in a still calm voice.

" I'd rather you just let one of us do it Sweety.......I'm sorry Adam'' she responded to me in a forlorn voice.

I didn't want my dad to hear, he would immediately rise up and demand me to go up into my room.

My dad was the kind of person that didn't usually share his feelings with anyone.

Not even my mom!

He kept all his sorrowful, troubled and distressed feelings inside.

Normally he didn't even show much happiness, cheerfulness or joy.

That's just not the kind of dad he was.

He wasn't the dad you talk to when you just want to break out in laughter or anger.

Or even gallons of souwer tears!

All he was to me was a dad that I couldn't speak to, he did love me but he just didn't want to loose me.

That's my guess!

My mom was the perfect example of a caring, careful and considerate person. I loved my mom as much as she did.

When I was younger my mom used to come up to my room before bed time and tuck me in, read me my favourite story collection Little Miss and Mr Books.

I fell in love with the first of the books Mr. Greedy!

My mom had to read it to me every night, otherwise I wouldn't even dare to shut an eye.

I still remember scenes of my childhood:

'' No, mummy wait could you PLEASE read me a book........I'm scared.'' I whispered in the dull light of my room.

''Honey.....I really have to rush to this meeting downtown.

Just dream about the books if you could please. Oh...man I still have to hoover the house too'' my mom announced while staring on the corner of my bed.

Her thoughts had been somewhere else. I could see it in her strong green and gold eyes.

My mom hated her job. Because since the new law came out and I was born she sadly lost better paying job.

Someone had to take care of me, my mom obviously coulnd't take me with her anyways so she wouldn't be able to show up to work.

Eventually her boss fired her.

She was devastated! I was too small to care but then for the past year of her life she was at home with me.

  The job she had now was downtown working at a factory. Sittting in a dented seat all day, nitting clothes for men and woman.

That year, the year my mom was with me every day, I felt more open and I could feel my personality rising even higher.

Sadly I was still never to even touch the outside ground but my mom had bought me some board games for Christmas.

My mom and me sat on my bed every afternoon and had a match of chess or we played crazy eights.

Every minute of it I felt normal , like I could finally become someone REAL.

Not invisible!

But I was at that time........I still was.

It had to be changed......by who........ me?

Was I really the only one out there?

Was it only me that was lost in a world of drowsiness and depression.

I wanted it to end!

NOW!

( but how.........I had no clue)